What is College?
1.
A magical place where it is rumored that learning takes place, although to those who enter it is often described differently afterward, as a beatiful land in which beer flows in amber currents next to a golden pasture, where virgins lie naked with gentle smiles upon their calm, inviting faces; but more precisely, a Shangri-La rite of passage into adulthood which involves rampant consumption of alcoholic beverages, flagrant and promiscuous sexual behavior, and a general and fundamental disregard for any form of responsibility by its habitants.
Thank you sir, may I have another?
2.
the place where you enter inexorbitant amounts of debt to "learn" things you will never apply once to your actual occupation. Basically, an expensive 4-year waiting period for a paper called "degree".
I will owe Wells Fargo my first born so I can pay off my college.
3.
an expensive daycare center
I'll be retirin' soon, and the kids is gettin' too old for no one to notice if I kill 'em...
4.
a place to get drunk, have sex, and then start all over again. Oh by the way it's a place to get an edukacion...i mean edukation... shit education, there we go
After nine years at a junior college, i finally graduated and then become CEO of Penthouse
5.
Too FUCKING expensive.
I pay 5 times as much in college tuition as the in-state guys for the same fucking classes, even though I have lived in the state for two years now. And to think that all the money is going to some corporate executive's pay bonus pisses me off royally.
6.
Aplace were people go for one or two of the two possible reasons.
reason 1: To smoke lots of pot, waste your parents money and get kicked out.
reason 2: To get a piece of paper stating that your brain is full of shit information that you probrably already learned from the "magic schoolbus" and that you are allowed to work somewere other than a fast food restaurant.
Son: Mom, Dad, I got accepted for college.
Mom: That's great son.
Dad: How much will it cost?
Kid: Around 10k.
Mom and Dad have heart attacks and die later in the hospital. Kid goes to college, but than drops out cause he's stupid.
THE END
7.
High school that costs 40k and has ash trays and a better library and features even more useless knowledge
Dude: this is just like high school with hotter chicks.
Dude2: YA
