What is College Confidential?
1.
Among the worst websites on the internet. A place to go where you can read about snotty geniuses who feel the need to brag in the ultimate attempt to make the "average high school student" feel pity on the themselves. An absolutely awful website that privileges and celebrates the Ivy League-Potential student, while completely forgetting about everyone else.
Jonathan from New York: Hello, my name is Jonathan from New York. I was wondering if I could get into any college in the entire universe with these *shitty* grades and these terrible credentials. Will someone please help me!? Here goes: 5.0 GPA (on 4.0 scale); 1600 SATs; participated in every club in my high school; Started 12 new clubs/became Club President of each respective one; was Valedictorian of my class; participated in Community Service; Volunteered all over the place; Held jobs at 8 different workplaces; Wrote an amazing College Application essay; Teachers wrote excellent recommendations about me/sent those to the colleges; participated as Captain of every available high school sport team; played 4 different instruments/played in Jazz Band/Orchestra/Marching Band/Symphony Band/Choir... Oh yeah, and my high school is ranked #1 in the entire country.... WHAT ARE MY CHANCES PEOPLE!?!? HELP ME!! I'm just so worried, and I probably won't even get into the nearby Community College!! HEEEEEELLLPPPP!!!!
ME: You ignoramus!!!
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2.
A "college help forum" that breeds elite nerd factions. Everyone wants to know their "chances" of getting into a certain Ivy school, but everyone knows that if you don't have an inspiring life story you can't get in in the first place.
Another day at College Confidential...
Thread title: Chances
iluvphysics: Hey everyone, I want to know my chances of getting into the University of Chicago. Someone please tell me if these are remotely good enough?
Caucasian male, 5.1 GPA Freshman year
5.2 GPA Sophomore year
5.5 GPA Junior year
(weighted with extra summer classes)
2400 on the SAT, 36 on the ACT (re-took them 6 times)
President of Debate Club, French NHS, Science NHS, National Honor Society, Class Vice President, Treasurer for Spanish NHS, Art NHS,
Member of almost every club at school
Did Basketball, Tennis, and Track all four years, winning excessive awards and breaking more records than I have fingers,
Worked 3 jobs and was promoted my Senior year to leadership positions in all of them,
Recieved the Governor's Teen Award
Mayor's Top 10 award
National Merit Scholar
And numerous other academic awards,
Did 5000+ hours of community service,
Won the National Physics Bowl championship 4 years in a row
So will somebody PLEASE tell me if I have the FAINTEST chance of MAYBE getting in?
gradezarecool: I think you have a very strong chance of getting in, just like me.
mathdude101: And me!
SocratesSquared: Me, too. We'll all get in.
Thread title: Chances
chucknorris51: Hey guys, I want to get into the University of Chicago. Can someone help me out?
White dude from Colorado,
3.85 GPA Freshman year
3.65 GPA Sophomore year
4.06 GPA Junior year
(all weighted)
Did 70 hours of community service
Played tennis on JV for 3 years
Member of Gaming Club, French NHS, Science NHS
Got a 30 on my ACT
Worked a paper route for 4 years
Thanks
gradezarecool: YOU HAVE NO AWARDS?? No chance of getting in. You need at least a 36 on the ACT to even qualify.
mathdude101: OMG, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Not a chance. How could you even think of qualifying?
SocratesSquared: Wow, you're really stupid.
chucknorris51: Well, I did survive arm cancer when I was 4 years old and have been recovering all my life, even learning to play the guitar and tennis. What sets you guys apart?
gradezarecool: My extracurriculars.
mathdude101: My extracurriculars.
SocratesSquared: My extracurriculars.
chucknorris51: I see. So you really think I have no chance?
gradezarecool: NO CHANCE!!
mathdude101: NO WAY!!
SocratesSquared: I HAVE A TINY PENIS!! I mean, NO WAY!!
chucknorris51: Hah. Retards.
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3.
The worst website on the web where snooty genius fucktards come to brag about themselves to make the other 99.99% population of high school students feel like shit.
College Confidential Forum:
HELP ME!! I HAVE NO CHANCE FOR ANYTHING!!!
Rank 1/1098
5.00 GPA Weighted
4.00 GPA Unweighted
50 AP Classes, All A's
2400 SAT
36 ACT
800 SAT II Chemistry
800 SAT II US History
800 SAT II Physics
Varsity Tennis (9,10,11,12)
Varsity Basketball (9,10,11,12)
Varsity Football (9,10,11,12)
500 Hours of Community Service
Research Internship at Stanford & MIT
American Math League Champion
500+ Awards
Cured Cancer, AIDS, and Ebola
HELP ME I HAV NO CHANCES AT ALL!!!
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4.
Ditto to the #1 definition. It's a crappy site where nerds gather to brag, rave about how snitching is cool, and speak out against Affirmative Action because they think it's an easy way out for the colored people that them and their fagget ancestors put through the worst 200 years of their history.
Them: Your 4.0 GPA, 6.0 Weighted, 20 AP classes, etc. etc. will never amount to anything. You have to LOVE learning. You have to snitch on everyone that cheats, because it'll kill the grade curve! Nevermind that in my real life, I'm the biggest nerd that's ever had the misfortune of living. I'm cool here on College Confidential, because every other nerd that thinks snitching is cool and the only way to go also comes on this site! So ha!
Me: Uhh, okay...
Ooo, ooo, I have another one!
Them (#1): OMG! This kid cheated in my Calculus class today! He had all the formulas preprogrammed on his TI-89 (I know everything about calculators because I'm so cool!). He got a perfect score on the test so now there's no curve... What should I do!?!
Them (#2): Dude, totally snitch on that kid! I can't believe he'd do such a thing! (little do I know that I'm just a snooty little cracker rich kid, and that I'd be lynched by those 'niggers' for snitching on them if I ever attended a public school)
Me: Get a life, seriously... You'd have the living shit beaten out of you if you snitched on someone over here. In fact, I'd probably be the ones beating you senseless and then running over to your house to have my way with your mom.
Them (#3): OMG! I can't believe you'd condone cheating. That's the worst thing in the world! Nevermind world hunger, global war, the thousands that die and nobody ever hears about, or the fagget president me and my cracker presidents put in FOR TWO FUCKING TERMS IN A ROW!
Me: Wow... just wow. I can't defend myself here because there are too many nerds here. Here on College Confidential, cheating is the devil.
Hmm, and now for Affirmative Action.
Them (#1): I can't believe that Affirmative Action is still here. It's totally racism! (who cares about the fact that my people tortured colored people for hundreds of years?)
Them (#2): Yeah, those niggers, spics, and others need to get the fuck over it.
Them (#3): Yeah, I'm Black, and my people are so lazy!
Me: How can you guys torture races of people for hundreds of years, and then expect them to miraculously bounce back and be on the same wealth and education status as you and the hoard of crackers you hold so dearly to your heart?
Moderator: I sent a PM to your inbox explaining the infraction you get. Watch your mouth, spic! All you niggers out there better watch yourself.
And finally, and one of my favorite ones!
Them (#1): School is so important! It's my life! Having a college degree = intelligence, totally!
Them (#2): Yeah, fo sho! Haha, did anyone catch my ironic nigger talk!?!
Random Guy: Erm... I started a business in my early high school years that began producing thousands of dollars in a very short amount of time. I had a 2.0 GPA, because quite honestly, why would I care about school when I don't need it? I consider myself more intelligent than the average bear, and much more intelligent than some kiss ass 4.0 GPA student who sits there all day being taught like a parrot to absorb everything he reads and hears and repeats it right back, on demand! And I'm not going to college (*gasp*)
Them (#4): *gasp* You're not going to college!?!! You're an idiot.
Random Guy: Yeah, and after you finish your 5 college degrees at the age of 30, you'll be working for me, someone who finished school at 18. :) Just picture it: You education addicts sit there all day earning your pricey degrees, all to help the truly smart people, the entrepreneurs, become even richer! The same people that got minimum education are the same people you're going to make richer in the future! How ironic...
Them (#3): Erm... so you consider yourself smarter because you got lucky with a business and made thousands of dollars in high school than someone who can memorize a dictionary?
Random Guy: Umm, is that a serious question?
Obviously dramatized, but the overall message of each example is completely true and was used on College Confidential.
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