What is Comfort Wipe?
1.
A tool, marketed mostly towards disabled people and fat people, used to wipe your ass. Basically a stick which you wrap toilet paper around.
Guy 1: "Man I need to wipe my ass, but I can't really reach back there all that well, cause I'm fat."
Guy 2: "Sounds like you could use a comfort wipe."
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The zombie check is for when you wake up after a hard nights drinking and aren't sure if you are alive or not,
This simple test i..