What is Commander Xander?
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The most awesome nickname EVAR. You simply must be the best person ever to attain such a title. The person must possess the necessary skills for this job as well, such as having over 5000 pages of dungeons and dragons manuals memorized. If the one called Commander Xander approaches you, you must bow and give him offerings of food and cash.
"Where would you like the village girls sir?" -Dedicated Crew Mate
"Send them to my private quarters." - Commander Xander
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This excellent stunt, is where you spread someone's buttcheeks apart, and place salsa (mild or hot) in the butthole and proceed to ..