Condom

What is Condom?


1.

A very smart invention to decrease the population and sti's

1)no glove no love

2)don't be silly wrap you willy

3)don't be a fool wrap your tool

4)don't be a ding-dong cover you shling- shlong

5)dont be a wenis protect you penis

6)dont share your sperm over your worm

7)before you spank her cover your wanker

8)If theres gunna be affection cover your erection

9)if your gunna banger cover your wanger

10) There only a buck get one before you fuck

11) Dont be stupid wear a fuckin condom

See anon

2.

A 75 cent insurence Policy for teens who wanna bone

"that baby ain't mine, I used a CONDOM"

3.

As before: "Rubber, or sheepskin cover for the penis during Sexual Intercourse So that no seminal fluid may enter the vagina"

They also serve well as water-bombs.

See gribble

4.

The object not used in order to get STDs, pregnant, and destroy marriages.

One day Johnny and Jane decided to have intercourse. Jane asked Johnny if he had a condom and he said of course he didn't, condoms were for faggots and pussies, and he was neither. Well they had sex, and poor Johnny had premature ejaculationbefore he could pull out. 1 month later, Jane tells Johnny that she had Herpes and that he is most likely now positive for it. She is also pregnant. 8 months later, a kid comes around (luckily no Herpes because of today's medicines)and Jane decides that she cannot take care of the child. She gives the child to Johnny, in which Johnny's wife Mary, finally finds out about the wrongful deed and divorces Johnny. If only he had worn a Condom

5.

A latex or sheepskin sheath to put over the penis before intercourse. Hated by some men because it lowers their sensations somewhat and means that some of the responsibility of contraception falls on them (GOD FUCKING FORBID...) Perhaps they would prefer parenthood?

No glove, no love... unless one is interested in paying child support for the next 18 years...

6.

An object used during sexual intercourse which is forbidden by the Catholic Church

7.

Interlude: This poem was created for a poetry class at San Diego State University by a very curious and enthusiastic Sophmore named Brittany.

Poem: "Safety First"

From Japan to the USA

They claim their place

In every bathroom or bed stand.

Lying within worn, cardboard boxes

Taunting all that stare

Embarassed by their intentions.

The perk function they perform;

To bring intense,

Erotic, ribbed pleasure

To those otherwise not meant to experience

Such sesual, twisted touch.

With the strength and Endurance

Of the Trojans invading Rome

They protect patrons each day.

By limiting the populations of teenage mothers,

They serve a necessary purpose for society

Often going without appreciation

Tossed aside after each use.

Representing all colors of the rainbow

All flavors of fruit

Chocolate, root beer,

Scented lilac, tropical breeze,

Nonoxynol-9 enhanced.

They make safety a carnival

Of lightly lubricated latex!

They've come to fill

A major role in many relationships

Knowing no discrimination,

They aid anyone willing to spend

A few crucial dollars.

Evolving from their original form of sheep skin,

They are the latest

In sexual exploration

Enjoyed by both old and young,

Single and married.

Small, large

Pinch the tip,

Roll them on.

Worldwide

They are the perfect fit.

Hope you enjoyed this demostration of literary creativity!!

Okay...so after such a long poem...do you really need an example too to get the point....Strap on the safety belt before you take the ride!

See Brittany


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