What is Conservative Christian?
1.
Christians who put the Judaic values of bloodshed, revenge and hellfire over and above the virtues of compassion, empathy, poverty of spirit, rejection of material possessions and charity. One who loves to judge others but remains oblivious to their own faults. One who opposes the separation of Church and State. One who longs for the extermination of life on Earth in the name of a mythological event that will result in a large proportion of humanity being tortured for eternity by a vengeful God. A death cultist. A hypocrite. One who obsesses on sexual desire but ignore physical greed and gluttony. One who opposes the right of women to terminate pregnancy and artificial contraception but supports the death penalty for minors. One who holds racist, tribal opinions about the developing world and other cultures. one who vilifies the fundamentalist Muslims with whom they share 100% of their values. Indistinguishable therefrom. One who opposes the rights of homosexuals but supports illegal wars. A waste of moral space. An ethical hole.
Conservative Christians Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Fred Phelps
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2.
a pale faced dreadfully unattractive white girl with a dress down to her feet and no makeup who lives way out in the middle of nowhere, homeschools and belongs to a local cult. Drops out of high school and never goes to college because believes that woman shouldn't work or be educated. Sits around the family trailer all day trying to learn how to cook and clean whilte naively and foolishly waiting around for the perfect blue collared cowboy to show up at her door propose marriage and then move her out to the boonies and raise 10 kids. Unfortunately, because the girl is an absolute social outcast due to the fact that she lives in the middle of nowhere, doesn't go to school and doesn't work she sits around her father's house well into her twenties waiting for her cowboy in shining leather. The girl's lack of social contact with the real world eventually forces her to marry the one man she knows- her cousin.
Conservative christian woman has three huge fears (in order)
3. Public school
2. The City
1. Liberal University Professors
The conservative christian girl dropped out of college with 15,000 dollars of debt with a big smile on her face- it was god's will. But who will pay for it?
Don't worry, she'll find the perfect man, after all it's god's will for her to!
Conservative christian girls are a necessity in this world- the rest of us need something to laugh at!
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