What is Cootie Patoottie?
1.
one that possess symptoms of cuteness. Often they are very ugly and we are in fact laughing AT them.
They are such "cootie patooties" that when we are around them we often have incontainable bursts of threats such as "YOUR SUCHA FUCKING COOTIE PATTOOTIE IM GONA RIP YOUR FACE OFF AND EAT IT AND THEN IM GONNA CHOP YOU UP AND KEEP YOU IN MY FREEZER!!!"
"cootie patooties" have this affect on most people and generally they are un-aware of their impact on other people. They casually parade around their irresistable desire while people around them become overcome with passion and anger upon seeing them they they begin swearing and hurting themselves and/or others
when you see a cootie pattootie beware not to look them in their eyes because that is where most of their power lies. their cootie patootiness goes off the radar when they do something very sweet and stupid such as buy you a pizza but eat it on the way to your house and throw it up on your favourite dress. they're always doing crazy things like that.
An example of what happens: steffi: andy is sucha cootie patootie
caroline: I KNOW I CANT TAKE IT
steffi: look there he is right now!
caroline begins to punch the wall: I CANT TAKE IT HES SUCHA FUCKING COOTIE PATTOOTIE AND I WANT TO CHOP OF HIS LITTLE LEGS AND USE THEM AS CHOP STICKS AND I WANT TO SET HIM ON FIRE AND KICK HIM OFF A BALCONY HE MAKES ME SO FIERY WITH PASSION!
steffi: QUICK caroline! look away! before you do something you'll regret
cootie patoottie for life
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