What is Corporate Racoon?
1.
A person—a scavenger of sorts, who, throughout the
course of the workday, roams his/her company halls, meeting rooms and
cavernous spaces in search of any kind of food or drink—even of the stale
variety. Because of the corporate racoon’s cheap nature and “if it’s free,
I’ll take it! Even if it’s garbage” mentality, this character doesn't care
what it is as long it can be stuffed down his/her throat.
Example 1:
"Dude, look at Hank scrunched in the corner over there. Is he scarfing down
that old-ass sandwich?"
"Yikes, Hank, you hungry much? Those sandwiches are from a meeting that finished five hours ago. That meat looks sick and the mayonnaise stinks. You sick bastard."
"Hey man, can't help it. I'm a Corporate racoon. I obviously need help."
“Help? Dude, you’re disgusting. Throw that shit out.”
Example 2:
"Hey, Trisha, where'd you get the turkey wrap?"
"I was walking by the conference room and scarfed it from leftovers from that meeting that ended three hours ago, before they cleaned up the mess."
"Disgusting -- you are nothing but a corporate racoon."
See
