What is Cortlandt Manor?
1.
Cortlandt Manor is a realtor's fiction in Cortlandt, the furthest northwest township in Westchester County, NY. In it you will find quaint old farmhouses, cul-de-sacs dotted with grossly gargantuan McMansions, sad old-age homes, pathetic retirement villages, and white-trashed trailer parks. Economically both better and worse off than Croton-on-Hudson (home to the nouveaux riches families and NASCAR dads), it is adjacent to the urban embarrassment known as "Peekskill." The township was so humiliated by the presence of African-Americans in its community that it petitioned the USPS to create a separate Zip Code (10567) that distinguishes it from its darker sister (Peekskill: 10566). In the center of the town, the so-called Cortlandt Town Center, stands a United Artists Multiplex flanked by a hair-do establishment and pizza joint (with not-too-shabby pizza). To experience the full range of its denizens, go to the adjacent Walmart at said Center and count the number of teeth ( = n) that you find in the mouths of the shoppers ( = S) on any checkout line. You will find that at any given time nS < 32. The town has no focus, no personality short of calling itself "The Gateway to the Hudson," which basically means that it's a sewer pipe. It is a hell for those who can't drive and a vicious purgatory for those who do. It contains a farm where you can watch the decapitation of your Thanksgiving turkey or the slaughter of your Easter lamb, a place coincidentally close to Walter Penis High School, one of the two centers for higher education in the area (the other being Hen Hud, whatever that supposed to mean--probably a reference to chickens). All in all, living in Cortlandt Manor is better than living in Putnam County.
1. I saw some bro's sharing a fatty near the Peekskill Projects as I was driving to the Modell's in Cortlandt Manor.
2. I wish my parents would move to that anus of a town, Croton-on-Hudson, since living in Cortlandt Manor is the equivalent to being 1.5 feet up the colon.
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2.
a VERY small town in westchester county, new york, where you can go absolutely no where without a car. most of our residents want to move to the neighboring towns of croton, buchanen, montrose, and peekskill, but sadly, their parents will not move just because they want them to.
cortlandt manor is in the middle of the woods basically. it's the middle of no where, and they only way u end up here is by accident or if ur visiting here
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3.
A small town in Northern Westchester, situated near the Hudson River and close to the Putnam County border. Inbreeding is common. The largest event this town has experienced was the opening of Wal-Mart. See also: bumblefuck.
I feel sorry for Sam. He's from Cortlandt Manor.
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