What is Cream Cheese?
1.
Another expression for
The next time you scrape out a tub of 2 week old 'Philadelphia' which has been left uncovered, you'll understand the comparison.
What's that awful smell? she wailed.
It must be the cream cheese and crud on my
bell end , he summised 'I haven't washed it for over a week'
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2.
The solution to all computer related problems. All computers are terrified of cream cheese, particularly of having it smothered over their hard drive or around the keyboard. Faced with any problem, the wise computer user will simply reach for their handy container of cream cheese and hold it infront of the screen (where the computer can see it) in a threatening gesture. Terrified, the disobedient computer will quickly cut the crap and start working properly again.
Mischevious Computer: " Error 508D80AN937; the program has performed an illegal operation and needs to shut down." (Translation: Fuck off human, no mere mortal can control me! Muahahaha)
Computer User: "Aaaahhhh! Damnit! Not again! You fucking computer, you've messed with me for the last time! That's it, I'm getting the cream cheese!"
Mischevious Computer: "... ..." *emits sweat
Computer User: "Oh, think you're tough do ya? Take this!" *raises clump of cream cheese in hand
*Computer beeps loudly in a frightened high pitch tone and begins working properly
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3.
Something that is used to spread on your partner's body during sex. Popularized by getting stuck in a girls braces, it was coined by a couple who are mentally retarded.
Girl: I'll get Randall over here and spread cream cheese all over me!
Guy: Oh hell no, thats my job!
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4.
A soft white cheese made of cream and milk; now comes in flavors such as strawberry, pineapple, chives & onion, and vegetable(ew).
Cream cheese plays an integral part in cheesecake. yum
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