What is Cretin Detectives?
A syndicate of special agents trained in the art of discovering what is known in the trade as "cretin on cretin love". This is when 2 (or more) lowly delinquents form a relationship based on deceit, only to be discovered and uncovered by the Cretin Detectives. After this relationship is unearthed the detectives are then obliged to bring this matter to the attention of anyone who will listen, causing unknown harm and humiliation to one or more of the Cretins.
Ways in which this can be done:
* Large posters in in highly populated areas.
* Telling family members anonymously.
* Flyer campaigns within large events such as fun fairs and children's game shows.
* Bringing to the attention of your flat mates a carefully placed mirror under a door.
... This will result in maximum circulation.
2 (or more) lowly delinquents form a relationship based on the premise that one of them will become bi-sexual and the other in order to hide this will have sexual relations with anyone that looks their way (or not), this includes: driving instructors; ex-boyfriends; ex-boyfriends of best friends; ex friends of boyfriends; friends from the past; friends from the present; and strangers who are friends you haven't met yet.
Eg. "Omgosh, those guys were so caught out by the cretin detectives!"