What is Crissexifumia?
1.
'Crissexifumia" pronounced; Criss-sex-a-fume-e-ah is a disease that affects you mentally, physically, and emotionally. Mentally- You have hallucinations of Criss Angel, either part of fully naked. You are 'high' on 'fumes'explained later to the point you may believe Criss is really there, and also has clones of himself from different time periods. Emotionally because you feel like you would if you were high but have neither inhaled, snorted, drank, or smoked anything that has made you feel that way. Physically, because you may get the random urge to masturbate with a pillow- ie hump it, lick it, whatever you please. Some of us have even had random muscle spazzims and have spontaneous episodes in which you twitch uncontrollably and in most cases, laugh till you can no longer breath.
This disease is caused by;
-Lack of sleep
-A long day
-A marathon of Criss Angel Mindfreak
-Listening to 'Rubber Room' or 'Inhuman' one too many times
-Pictures of Criss;
.taking his shirt off
.with his mouth open
.in his Calvin Klein's
.with a velvet hat on
.in tight leather spandex
.rubbing his abs
.his eyes
.when he is eye-liner bearing
.when his tongue is visable
.wearing anything netted
specifically ^
-Videos of Criss;
.dancing around stage in tight leather pants
.laughing
.screaming
.breathing in a fast/slow/deep/hormone inducing way
specifically ^
Side effects my include any and/or all of the following;
=large amounts of drool spewing from the mouth
=uncontrollable urges to hump the nearest thing that won't run away
=thought and images you never thought of before
=random episodes of twitching in places that should not twitch
=extreme loss of sleep
=places thumping that should not thump
=the need to change your pants more than once in one sitting
=spontaneous urges to go to Las Vegas, and random outbursts of laughter at things that really aren't even funny
=delusions of pudding-covered Criss
=random cravings for whipped cream, pudding, a frostieeanything you can put on and lick off of someone
=desire to listen to inhuman, hear Criss' voice
This disease is very common among Loyalsevery four in five have it-every ten in ten will have it by the year 2009 and if it happens that it is publicized that you have this disease, do not be alarmed when most people avoid you. It's only natural, and most of the time they only wish they had it and are jealous.
There is no known cure for this disease and as a matter of fact, no one plans on finding a cure.
Founded by; Sam&Lizz&KendRa&Jaimee&Darrian&Miar
Office doctor; "So what seems to be the problem?"
Me; "I don't know doc. It all started when that naked jail escape that Criss Angel did premiered. I was watching it and when he took his shirt off I -"
Office doctor; "STOP RIGHT THERE! It seems, my dear you have a case of Crissexifumia. Say, did you recently become a Loyal by any chance?"
Me; "*nods*"
Office Doctor; "Yep, it's defiantly Crissexifumia. But not to worry, you'll be fine. And your not alone. It's a common thing among teenagers your age. Anywhere from age 12-19 have it. In rare instants adults have it too."
Me; "Well, what can I do?"
Office Doctor; "Well, are you bothered by what you do through when Crissexifumia takes over?"
Me; "Well, no. I didn't even wanna come, but my mom insisted I did.. I'm actually enjoying it, and it's helping me make new friends.."
Office Doctor; "Well good, since there's no cure for it and your stuck with it forever... *hands you twelve pack of whipped cream and room key to Criss' suite* that should do ya for about three days, if we're lucky. Give me a call when your out and I'll hook you up with more.."
See
