What is Critzer?
1.
An Ass Clown that failed out of Butt
Pirate school. On weekends he is a bullfighter that enjoys getting "poked".
One who's hobbies and interests include stimulating another man's anus, drinking appletinis', watches the "would you fuck me?" scene in the Silence of the Lambs movie repeatedly, being the metroqueer that wears a suit on casual fridays, volunteers to be Santa Clause at local shopping malls because he can't even pay a stripper to sit on his lap, is jealous because his neighbor actually has wheels on his mobile home, and masterbates in kiddie pools outside of elementary schools.
Also known as the worst mistake that any two living beings could ever make. The one abberration that God whould have fixed if there was an 8th day.
The true definition of a waste of sperm. A crizter is only made when a very fertile female accidentally sits on a dirty jiz rag...usually from her own household. This does not exclude sources ranging from husbands, fathers, sons and horny chihuahuas. Because of this freak of nature's crazy genetic makeup, his looks typically fall into a happy medium between Howard Stern, Quazimotto the Hunchback, and the gay bald guy on the David Letterman show. They are usually born in the mystical backwoods of East Virginia. They can also be seen in the movie "The Hills Have Eyes".
Doug: Man, I have the urge to punch someone in the glasses right now.
Cody: Where's a Critzer when you need one?
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