What is Crocker?
1.
Typically, a grandmother figure from the southern United States, with a 'southern twang' accent. Crockers usually smoke cigarettes, but aren't proud of it, and also love their grandchildren but are extremely disciplinary and attempt to make lectures on waiting for sex until marriage, and to love God. Crockers favorite resturants can be something to the extent of an all-you-can-eat cafeteria, or for fancy nights, the Cracker Barrel. Their favorite gas station is Hess. Most crockers watch soap operas,
Watch out for that crocker, she can be a real bitch.
2.
A middle school in Hillsborough, California where blond girls tend to be loose, stoners tend to be thought of as "cool", and the people who don't wrap themselves in riches, don't make fun of others, and don't have petty personalities feel alienated. The asian to white ratio is 50:50.
Guy one: Yeah I went to Crocker. Some people think it was the best experience ever, but I tend to disagree. It wasn't the real world and wasn't me.
Guy two: Are you kidding? I had amazing keg parties every weekend at my parents mansion while they were off in Bali!
Guy One: You are a joke.
Guy two: Man I loved getting smashed in 6th grade, how cool am I?!
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3.
a contrary action that is very housewifey and/or culinarily adventurous. typically begins to occur after hipsters start having children.
person a: "i'm going to make pesto risotto tonight for steven, i've never tried before!"
person b: "wow, that's very crocker of you..."
or
person a: "let's go get hammered."
person b: "i can't, i have to make white chocolate brownies for maggie's bake sale at school tomorrow."
person a: "don't be so fucking crocker, jen."
when your girlfriend tries to bake you a birthday cake but fails miserably
when your friend can't make the bar tonight because he promised to babysit his nieces
when your sister surprises you with a deformed scrapbook
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4.
a fat lazy male figure that sits on his computor all day with no breaks
that crocker is way to lazy
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5.
Person who is described as, but not limited to a greasy haired, hunch backed homo with no social life or standing. Spends most of their time on the computer, giving them a pasty complection. Often the victim of chat room predators who enjoy taking nerdy little boys from behind.
Crocker found himself a 42 year old trucker from Iowa and he couldn't be happier.
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6.
A large man that targets individuals that are percieved to have power and then does tremendous job of brown nosing and ass kissing.
When I saw you with the CEO of our company, I knew you were pulling a crocker.
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