What is Croydon?
1.
A horrific notion indeed. Between the horrors of 1960s concrete architecture that means that the skyline looks like nothing but fear and loathing reside the worst thing: the locals.
While not getting confused between their football allegiances (Man Utd, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, Real Madrid or Barcelona), they make sure that they always holler odd sounding noises akin to "Euuuurgh!!!" assuming that it's an insult - although always just out of earshot, and only when there's about twenty of them to your one. If, of course, they are not this intelligent, they will just take a swing at you - and for the same reason: individuality. Yes, like the Iron Age, thos ethat do not look like they are in for a bit of a kicking - although at least back then, fire was not such a complex connundrum (barring the Marlbro Light they stub out in your face, naturally).
Any new store that opens soon becomes Croydonised - a complete waste of time as the service is anything but a service, and you realise Central London is only 15 minutes by train. Unless, of course, you want to use the landmark of the area - the Ikea on Purley Way.
if there was a new Ring of Hell, it would be Croydon. And I'm not making this up - I live in the fucking place...
Print a copy of the review from craptowns, and tick the things off while walking down the High Street...
2.
in the ghetto streets of SE london, some say it is a shit hole, thats understandable as it is realy, however can provide entertainment if you have nothing better to do. i however do.
croydon is ghetto, if you tell people from there it is a shit hole it is likely you will get stabbed, so good luck wankers
3.
Shite Hole
Croydon is a shite hole
4.
If lands end is the left buttock, and margate is the right buttock, that would make Croydon the arsehole of Britain
Croydon, only visit it if you have to.
5.
A borough of London, south of the river.
It is known for it's chavs, and Ikea store. It's home to Nestle and Allders.
The town is also where all of the immigrants come in, as it has the Home Office.
The town's shite, full of drunken's and teeny-bopper wanna be chavs. Very well interbred, and split between the races; ie West Croydon = Asians and Blacks, New Addington = White Estate
If you want to see chavs - go to Tollgate Estate in Addiscombe/Elmers End. Or, otherwise, visit any MacDonalds in Central Croydon.
The town's known for the rebellious Kate Moss and Naomi Cambell. You'll often see wanna be A-list Vanessa off of Big Brother.
The town has a very high rate of vandalism, GBH and sexual assults. Recent news coverage about the murder of Sally-Anne Bowman. East Croydon Station is also the most dangerous station in London.
The accent is bad. Very bad. Although Croydon has some good schools, eg Whitgift, John Fisher, Coloma, Royal Russel... These are a minority. Often you'll be physically abused by school kids from schools such as Haling Manor, Shirley High, Ashburton, Thomas Moore etc etc.
Basically, don't move here. Don't visit Croydon. It's a shit hole... =)
(I know, I live here... but I am not a Chav.)
What a Croydoner might say: "Nah man I ain't payin no shit for bus. Bus is free innit. Shut up man. I ain't list'nin to none of your shit. Shut up. Shut up. Fuck off man. Lemme on da bus, bitch. Aight, I'ma get ma bredrins on yous lot man. Lemme get ma gun from ma yard, man. Gonna merk you up, bitch."
See
6.
Croydon - Highest rate of teenage pregnancies in London......enough said!
Don't go to Croydon........ever
7.
Croydon has had a bad name.
It's getting better.
The pikeys are moving to Bromley,
Where they belong.
It has bettr shops than most places.
So dont complain.
Where should we go tomorow?
Bromley.
Nah thats shit.
Croydon?
YAY!
See
