What is Crystal Clutcher?
1.
Someone who believes in any of a number of "New Age" superstitious idiocy, such as: Catholic relics, speaking in tongues, dowsing, magnetic hills, UFOs, astrology, psychic power, homeopathy, therapeutic touch, some kinds of alternative medicine, spinal subluxations, channeling, mediums, and most particularly crystal power.
Every time I go to the sci-fi convention, there's always some stupid Crystal Clutcher trying to sell me a psychic reading.
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Laugh My Fucking Ass Off All Over The Fucking Floor Til I Fucking Explode. It is used when you read something really funny while instant..