What is Crystal Clutcher?
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Someone who believes in any of a number of "New Age" superstitious idiocy, such as: Catholic relics, speaking in tongues, dowsing, magnetic hills, UFOs, astrology, psychic power, homeopathy, therapeutic touch, some kinds of alternative medicine, spinal subluxations, channeling, mediums, and most particularly crystal power.
Every time I go to the sci-fi convention, there's always some stupid Crystal Clutcher trying to sell me a psychic reading.
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Closely related to the Fuckwit family, a person who is a complete waste of O2 and would do the world a favour by not breathing it. Usual..