What is Dad Rocker?
1.
Not to be confused with "Dad Rock," dad rockers are middle aged boomers from the suburbs, between ages 40 and 60. Their oatmeal rock is inspired by famous bands of the 60's and 70's, such as The Grateful Dead, Tom Petty, Frank Zappa and Willie Nelson. Their band-image is influenced by live performances of Sting and/or U2. Most members are balding if not completely bald and begin sweating upon reaching the stage. This creates "dad rock forehead syndrome", which is unappetizing. They have a lot of money to spend on Harley Davidson motorcycles and top-of-the line musical equipment, but neither have musical nor Hell's Angel's backgrounds.
Their wives are their only true fans. You can identify a dad rock ensemble by the drunk wives dancing and clapping loudly while their husbands dedicate power love ballads to them in hopes of reigniting flames long since extinguished. This often works because the drunker the wives get, the more they are capable of pretending the dad rockers are in actuality some semi-well-known band from their youth. After the show is done, you can find these couples making out and smoking cigarrettes in the parking lot. This typically creates a buzz-kill for the other patrons of the establishment.
Dude, stay away from Lucky's tonight, that place is really going downhill. Those dad rockers, The 13th Street Bad Boys, somehow made it back on the ticket again. Remember last time when their wives all got up on stage and started dancing around on stage during that Rolling Stones cover?
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