Data Junkie

What is Data Junkie?


1.

In a test lab environment, the Slave Master to the Data Monkeys. The Data Junkie will typically assign to his Data Monkeys, the chore of running endless tests that could take days or weeks that will produce a plethora of data that is used to overwhelm upper management, co-workers, techology partners, and customers.

Data Junkies also tend to spend long periods of time composing large emails that contain a lot of Copy and Pasting from various email threads. Because the Copy and Pasted emails are actually attachments {that also contain embedded attachments}, there is no logical organization of the data, which causes the email recipients to either not read the email or to spend days attempting to digest and get the information mentally organized. Typical email sizes from Data Junkies tend to run in the megabytes and clog Inboxes.

This tactic can achieve two purposes:

1. In a company where there is a hostile inter-departmental political war between departments and the Data Junkie is in the hot seat, this tactic can be used to stun the aggressor to back off because the aggressor has to sift through the pile of data, and the aggressor doesn't have the time.

This diffuses the situation and buys the Data Junkie Time.

2. The endless amount of overwhelming data can also be used to dazzle upper management and to dazzle clueless hostile customers. In a customer service environment, this technique moves the focus from the customer problem to talking about the overwhelming data, which will calm the customer down.

See data monkey


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