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A fake Monet is someone, m/f, that is more attractive from far away.
F: When I saw him up close, I realized he was a fake Monet.
See..
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The people you see in supermarkets that seem to think they exist in a vacuum and block the whole aisle, so transfixed by the products on..
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A wooden stick which has a top full of metal thorns.
He died after he was hit with a thornhammer in his head...