What is Decatur?
1.
Decatur is a medium-sized city in Central Illinois. The city is unique in that it is composed entirely of soybeans held together by a sticky adhesive made of sadness and dried Krekel's soft-serve.
Local History:
The city of Decatur was founded in the 1800's by the Chicago Bears, who at the time were coached by the legendary Abraham Lincoln. Always the savvy businessman, Lincoln elected to exchange the team for tickets to a showing of "My American Cousin" in Washington, DC, and we all know what happened with that.
The city's auspicious beginnings attracted a number of aspiring industrialists spanning a number of industries, including hog rendering, dirt recycling, garbage producing, and pollution. Many of these industries can still be seen today, though the long ago laid off most of their employees.
The city is home to a few famous inventions, such as the flyswatter, the automobile turn signal, and Dr. Dustin Ellison's Fabulous Rectal Plunger (patent pending).
The air often has a curious smell about it and can differ from day to day, often so much so that residents have been known to refer to days of the week by smell:
Monday: Burnt Cheez-Its
Tuesday: Soggy French Fries
Wednesday: Unholy Ass-crack of Satan
Thursday: Toasted Cat Litter
Friday: Recently Deceased Hobo Coated in Vaseline
Government:
The city is ruled by a small, exclusive club of wealthy men who are engaged in a large-scale game of Monopoly, with each one attempting to construct a "Speed Lube" or "Cash Loans" establishment on every street corner. They delight in sporadically bulldozing entire blocks of downtown to construct "parks," and relentlessly lobby for airline service to our airport (last month's passenger traffic: Three people, one ear of corn).
Geography:
The dominating geographic feature of Decatur is the large depression located east of Nelson Park (also in the minds of Decatur's inhabitants) that serves as a collecting pond for the liquid excretions of the populace. Termed "Lake Decatur", this muddy soup is rumored to contain fish, but mostly consists of dead bodies in 1973 Buick Lesabres, still clutching their buckets of KFC.
Activities/Tourism/Nightlife:
Notable activities in Decatur include being poor, crime, sleeping, and defecating in public places. Visitors to Decatur are advised that "We Like it Here," and that "You Should Definitely Take your Hubcaps with You when You Park, or Possibly Stop at Any Point."
Decatur: We live here.
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2.
Know as the "DEC". This city is located outside eastside Atlanta. The Downtown area, has been redevolped into one of the best barscenes outside of Atlanta. Decatur was the home of the once famous Hodges, and still famous Glenwood Day.
Straight out the DEC
There's no place greater... Then decatur
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3.
An important city located in North-Central Alabama along the Tennessee River. Population around 55,000, Decatur is famous for it's barbecue, history, good schools and great quality of life.
Decatur, beautiful, city
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4.
A sleepy little town half way between Ironton OH and Oak Hill OH. More churches than people, and one gas station.
You know where Decatur is?
Somewhere in the middle of nowhere.
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5.
A big small town, about 30 mins from Athens in Alabama. Also home of The Bama Boys. Also known as the D.
"Man, there's alot of cool people out here in the D. You should come out to visit."
"The Bama Boys made a cover of Sweet Home Alabama, that has alot of decatur references, you should listen."
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6.
a small boring place in southern iowa (which kicks ass) theres not much teens but you can get away with almost anything you can walk down the street with a joint and if anyone did call u in it would take forever for the cops to show up perty much where anythings going on at would be my place aka devins place we like to climb the water tower and get introuble cause its so boring the few teens here often hang out in other places but atleast you can do anything you want
hey lets go to decatur... how bout not
See boring , drunk , trouble , rednecks
7.
an extremely small town in texass with houses nowhere near it available. Almost everyone is beautiful, but with sucky personalities and almost every girl will get pregnant time and time again before she even graduates highschool. it has a shit movie theatre where you can never watch a movie without it getting fucked up. The entertainment of decatur consists of walmart, mexicans, and tanner turlington. Everyone knows everyone and there's no such thing as a secret. Lucky people who live in towns with a population of over 1000 with probably make fun of you by replacing the d-e-c with dick or dyke. everyone rides horses but almost no one listens to country music. the highschool is the nicest thing in the whole damn town, and you will be reminded of it every time you get caught chewing gum in the building.
i fucked my cousin then rode my horse to decatur.
Decatur. Where even the name is country.
"lets order hookers man!"
"nah lets just go to decatur"
See decatur , texass , hick , tanner
hey lets go to decatur... how bout not
i fucked my cousin then rode my horse to decatur.
Decatur. Where even the name is country.
"lets order hookers man!"
"nah lets just go to decatur"
