Desperado

What is Desperado?


1.

outlaw. Current literature indicates that desperado is derived from the spanish term desesperado which means a person with no hope. The term comes from esperanza which means hope. Adding “des” to the front makes it an antonym. Changing the ending “anza” to “ado” makes it an adjective and desesperado means a person with no hope. While this may be logical, it intuitively does not seem to fit well. I sounds like an Ivy league researcher explanation. I spoke with Native American oral historian and their oral history says that the term evolved in this fashion:

Spain created the Camino Real from Mexico to Santa Fe, New Mexico, in 1598. Camino Real literally means “Royal Road”. As such the road is protected by garrisons at intervals along the road. Spanish law levied a toll to travelers on the Camino Real in order to pay for these soldiers. The soldiers would stop the travelers and demand the toll be paid for them to continue on. In spanish “to stop” is “parar”. And as above “desparado” is a person that was not stopped. According to their oral history, the term desparado, described travelers that did not want to pay a toll and circled, off the road, around the military posts. The term became associated with “scofflaws”, people that openly disrespect the law. When the Americans immigrated into the area they modified the language of the region to suite. Words like “la reata” in Spanish became “lariat” and desparado became desperado. To me this explanation makes a better fit, desparado meaning law breaker is a better fit than desesperado a “a person with no hope”.

Desperados have been depicted in Western literature and film for decades. The movie Desperado is about a cowboy character running from the law. Which is appropriate for a person that shot the sheriff. He is a desperado, an outlaw.

The Eagles song Desperados has lyrics describing a cowboy wandering the range "out mending fences". This is not appropriate. Desperados are not necessarily cowboys. I thing the Eagles missed the target to this one.

See outlaw, scofflaw, bandit

2.

a desperate criminal, so says the real one,

somebody who lives their life alone, but is desperate to be loved.

3.

A desperado is a kind of joint. When someone runs out of weed, with little hope of weed in the immediate future, they may opt to roll and smoke a desperado, which is a joint made up of all the joint-ends in the ashtray, the scrapings-out of all the weed baggies lying around, and pretty much all the weed from everywhere that there might be weed.

It's never really worth it - it's normally completely minging, and it can be a bit of an effort finishing off a desperado because it is the pinnacle of horrible. It might get you a tiny bit stoned, but you'll probably be so miserable after smoking something so horrible that you'll want to die.

Actually, fuck it. It's always worth it.

Dear Diary,

It's been eighteen hours since I ran out of weed. I've been in a cold sweat for forteen of them, and I've already clawed out my left eye. The only thing I can think of doing is smoking a desperado, although it'll make my fingers smell, half of it will be ash, and I probably wont get stoned at all. But at least it's something to do!

I'm sinking deeper and deeper into withdrawal. I NEED A DESPERADO NOW.

Signing off,

John Major.

4.

A man with long dark hair, usually shoulders-length. Based on the Desperado movie.

"Hey, look at this Desperado!"

See desperado, long, hairs, movie, dark

5.

bandits in da club, playground, or workplace. usually of mexican/indian decent. also refers to an imprisoned white adolescent.

i ain't no straight cat, i be a desperado.

dude, keep your eye on that desperado

See emily, cory, panther, cracker, blanket, power

6.

If you have not been laid in at least 6 months the desperado rule takes effect meaning that anyone/anything you sleep with will not be held against you.

You slept with WHO?

I know dude, I know, but its been a long time since I've got any!

Hey, desperado rule man. I guess sometimes you got to lower quality to get quantity...

See sex, desperation, desperado, rules, man law

7.

A desperado is a female that meets all of these characteristics...

-low self esteem

-poor social skills

-desperate want for male affection

and usually these characteristics...

-decent looking

-high sex drive

-few close friends

but most imporatantly, a female is not a desperado unless she...

-hooks up with, fucks, or dates general tools, losers, weirdos, abusive men, assclowns, pizza faces, disproportionally younger men, disproportionally older men, men who speak a language that the desperado can't understand, comic book/anime nerds, etc...

Guy 1 "dude remember that kid back in high school that worked at 7-Eleven?"

Guy 2 "which one?"

Guy 1 "you know, the dude with the really bad acne problem, he wore that wrestlemania t-shirt every other day, smelled awful..."

Guy 2 "oh yeah that weird kid, whats his name... um, Eugene. what about him?"

Guy 1 "I saw him the other day with some really hot chick, I guess they're going out now"

Guy 2 "wow, did he change at all?"

Guy 1 "nope, same old dirty ass Eugene"

Guy 2 "wow, that girl's a desperado"

See desparate, tool, dork, assclown, pizza face


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