What is Dick Mittens?
1.
The condition of one's hands when one neglects to wash them after urinating.
I won't let him touch my copy of New England with dick mittens.
2.
A girl that you would only have sex with for the purpose of keeping your dick warm. She is highly unattractive and if confronted by friends you will deny anything happened at all costs. She is so gross that you regret your decision during the act. Having sex with a dick mittens is highly regrettable and is the only category of girl that you never admit to under any circumstances.
"I would never do that chick man, she's a total dick mittens."
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