What is Dog Lover?
1.
Dog lovers typically prefer to have personal relationships with animals that they can control with a rope. The rope is typically attached to a collar that is placed around the dogs neck.
Dog lovers love to mico manage the dogs by yelling a never ending array of commands at every few minutes, or by rope. Typically the dog seems to have more intelligence or at least the upper hand psycologically and is in fact controling the dog lover.
Typically the owners drag the dogs to hundreds of places in the neighborhood where other animals pee or crap, and look with the same enthusiasm as a CSI investigator when they find a new one, moving their dog in the proper position. After finding all the poop and pee the dog lover then typically puts it in a clear bag like on CSI. Shortly after the bag is filled the dog lover will typically crouch to the ground and wear a big smile and try to kiss and be licked on the face by the dog.
Dogs are perfect for a relationship where they are constantly being yelled at and micromanaged because they typically do not know understand the human language or the commands. This makes it possible for dog lovers to continually micro manage through the dogs lives. Or should I say the dog typically micro-manages the dog lover using reverse psychology.
Dog lovers prefer dogs, because they typically don't go crazy after being yelled at. In some cases the dogs seem to enjoy the pleasure of driving their masters to the brink, by ignoring the dog lover.
Unlike parents of children, dog lovers can lock the dogs in the house all day or tie them up in their backyard. It is rare that a loved dog will grow neurotic and mall a child. However, it can be costly to repair the house and yard, and repair neighborhood kids who leap into the mouths of dogs.
Many dog lovers look like the typical parnoid persons who walk around your neighborhood once or twice a day with plastic bags full of dog shit. This paranoia type behavior may spread rapidly from dog lovers to non dog lovers around the neighborhood especially when these dog lovers walk by their non dog lovers yards. Occassionally some of these paranoid non-dog loving yard owners will smell like dog excrement, look mean and nasty and say very unkind and intimidating things to the dog lovers, and their dogs.
Dog lovers have their dogs tutored so they will not have sex related problems, and so are easier to maintain than kids, who are harder to tutor and cannot be neutored.
Child: Dad I want to get a puppy, please, please, please...
Dad: Son, do you really want to walk around with bags of dog shit twice a day and then be kissed and licked by a crouch licker, crap smeller.
Child: Dad I want to get a puppy, please, please, please.
Dad: Son, if I had known you were such a dog lover I would have taken you to an adoption agency a long time ago.
Child: Oh, thank you Dad can we go now.... Please, please, please.....
Dad: Son, the sooner the better.
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