What is Dr. Swango?
1.
Brutal. Groundbreaking. Epic. Some may even say worthy of losing one's mind while listening to. An Arizona death metal band which includes members: Luke, God of all music, and Zach, screamer to end all screams prior. And, of course, James, whos identity in the band ranges from HeBitch, to one-man-dance-squad, to bands biggest fan, and finally, to entertainment of the band whilst boxing a young homosexual lad who goes by the name Chris Rudder. You, reader of this definition, may be thinking to yourself "If they have a guitarist, hebitch, and screamer, then who in Satan's name plays the drums?!"
And that is, quite possibly, the most important question you may ever ask. The drummer is a drum machine. Yes, do not fancy yourself to a human drummer, for Dr. Swango's beats are far too brutal and fast paced for even Lucifer himself. Listen for yourself, if you think you are ready. myspace/drswango666
Steve (the name is hypothetical, for this young man obviously hasn't heard of the band): Dr. Swango? No, that's not a death metal band, for that is the doctor out of Tacoma, Washington, who got his phD, and used his medical birlliance to poison 30, yes, 30 people with medicines.
James: No, that is where you are wrong young grasshopper. Surely, you realize, no serial killer can be as br00t4l as Dr. Swango. If you dispute that, then we will take turns raping you with a curling iron. If you can't comprehend even after that, then we will re-circumcise you wtih a paper hole puncher, you cheeky fellow, you.
Steve: Now, that would be preposterous! They obviously named themselves after such a maniac!
James: Now listen here, Dr. Swango (the doctor) obviously had some sort of foreign time machine and went into the future to listen to the most brutal, amazing band ever, and rename himself after them. Now Luke, get ready the curling iron, we have a virgin to your brutality on our hands. And Zach, get ready the paper hole puncher, we have business!
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