What is Dumb Hippie?
1.
A word used to describe just about every hippie ever. Though of course there were smart hippies, most hippies are indeed dumb.
Dumb hippies think love and peace are the same thing. (if you don't know the difference, chances are you are a dumb hippie)
Dumb hippies think "corporate greed" causes EVERYTHING bad in the world - wars, environmental decay, my dog's death - EVERYTHING.
Dumb hippies think the original hippies achieved anything of note (your "revolution" was either failed, or imagined, or both.)
Dumb hippies think a protest song about how we should all love each other is going to stop conflicts.
Dumb hippies believe in "holistic" or "alternative" medicine that's a complete scam, until they need emergency surgery THEN they go to the "regular" hospitals to get their lives saved.
Dumb hippies listen to crappy "jam band" music which is only bearable if you're stoned out of your minds.
Dumb hippies tend to be vegetarians, who kill thousands of field mice and insects (animals too) in their pursuit of eating vegetables, yet try to seem superior to people who eat cows.
Dumb hippies describe themselves as "spiritual not religious" which is short for "deluded, not just in any conventional way"
Dumb hippies use Macs even though there's just nothing specifically different or anti-corporate or anything about them except marketing. Hippies just like to buy overpriced, slickly produced mass consumer goods. Who woulda thunk.
Dumb hippies are almost without exception affluent and usually white.
While emos, who share those 2 characteristics, believe the life of young suburban middle class white people is the most complicated and troubled of them all, dumb hippies TRULY believe that they are fixing the world's problems by recycling, protesting, taking drugs, fucking, buying macs, and writing dumb songs, all the while ignoring that out in the real world REAL problems faced by people who dont live comfortably continue.
How about we go to another dumb hippie meeting where we smoke up and say something vague and catchy about corporate greed and how we don't like war?
I'm sure we'll save the world again by the end of the week.
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