What is Dwarves?
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Perfection, that is what dwarves are, simply perfection. In the ages before myths the gods created the Dwarves, (stout, strong, short, and posessing a rare kind of genius) so that they might be the stewards of the world, and care for the lesser races such as the elves who are too busy nancing around poles to be much good.
Elves themselves were created to be burned. Hence the name "wood elf," short for "wood substitute."
A racial member of the Dwarves recounting his last worldly deed: "Oh aye, I helped that Elf's wife with her garden. It only took a minute for me to get her tulips to open, and then she let me plant a mighty oak below her bush. Which sadly might of been a crab apple."
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A phrase that Philip Schofield put on twitter, was mentioned in the chris moyels show, and has recently become a national crazy.
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