What is East Catholic?
1.
God's center for the rich majority snobs who wear Chanel tshirts to lacrosse practice, wear Coach backpacks, parade around in Louis Vuitton sandals, drive brand new BMWs yet don't have jobs, hang out with nuns, pray the rosary, can't differentiate between their hair color and highlights because they've been mixed in so well since they were 2, spend their time in the cancer box on a daily basis,pray before 3rd period every single day, get a Tiffany's ring for receiving a "A" on the Spanish 1 test on colors, own Dunkin Donuts, a family deli, or a grocery store, purchase and name practice gyms by the dozen (with a complimentary trainer's office and team room), pretend to ROCK THE FIELD at sports (or sometimes ACTUALLY rock the field at sports), get a day off every time a nun sneezes, have library shelves full of Catholic Encyclopedias, think they are rebels by wearing CLOGS or not tucking in their shirts (OH NO!), and love God...all the time, and believe they are the ULTIMATE shit.
kid 1:"East Catholic? Isn't that that little prison on the hill...with one driveway that no one can get into by 7:40 every morning?"
kid 2:"Yeah! Do you like my new Uggs, Coach bag, fake tan, Tiffany's necklace, and professionally filled manicure?!"
kid 1:"Oh my GOD, I'm so jealous, I wish I went to East Catholic. LET'S GO READ THE BIBLE!!!"
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