What is El Mono?
1.
El Mono is the new way of communicating! By surgically installing an antenna into your head, you can call your friends with only a 60% chance of receiving head cancer!
Plus, you get a free purple monkey which not only acts as the battery but saps your soul, eventually leaving your body an emaciated husk and whisking your soul back to our International Headquaters for usage in new types of devices!
"I just had an El Mono installed, now I can call my friends where ever I want!"
"My El Mono battery pack stole my sould. I want it back."
"Johnnie Somedude died when they tried to install an El Mono into his head. Sucks to be Johniie Somedude, huh?"
