What is Election?
1.
A kind of legitimised "pick-an-asshole" competition held in certain countries that have democratic tendencies. In this "election", a bunch of worthless bastards who wouldn't know a moral if it kicked them in the nuts and danced around them singing "I'm a moral", lie through their teeth and kiss babies in an effort to suck at the public teat for another 3-4 years. Elections are characterised by weasels sticking their faces in front of cameras on a daily basis, a media frenzy that resembles dropping a steak into a piranha tank, and chronic voter nausea as they are forced to decide yet again between a potential disaster and a proven failure. Luckily, watching elections hasn't made me bitter about them...
Person 1: Dude, did you watch the election coverage?
Person 2: No, I thought it would save time if I just sat on a stool and repeatedly hit my dick with a metal ruler.
Person A: Hey, I really think that that candidate is going to represent the people and make an important difference in how the country is run.
Person B: Nurse! Up this man's medication at once! He's delusional.
Person 3: Hey, I'm thinking of running for election.
Person 4: Fuck off and die, leech scum!
2.
Noun: Deciding between the lesser of two evils. Ie: Skeletor or Krang
Oh great, another election. Which crook should I vote for?
3.
A system where two people that represent the rich minority compete to see who can trick more people that they are actually going to do something in their interests.
Why the fuck vote? We all know whoever wins is going to be a Republican/Democrat and they're both going to tell us that they represent the working man while fucking everyone but the rich.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
4.
The worst system of choosing among candidates for public office -- except for all the others.
"The turnout for the election wasn't even 40% of eligible voters. The winner got a slight majority of that, so four out of five people DIDN'T vote for him. So from that he concludes he has a popular 'mandate'?!"
See
5.
Something that's rigged worse than a carnival dart game.
That dick didn't even win the popular vote, but won the election.
See
6.
A real-world extension of the popularity contest held in high school by the same annoying, hypocritical, personality types who were on the "student council."
This electionis a waste of time.
7.
a word you should avoid using at all costs, because of the risk of a freudian slip
The ere...election was quite exciting.
See
