What is Ellars?
1.
A male so fat it looks like he has grown breasts.
Jesus, Mike's grown some ellars since high school. Has he been injecting lard into his bloodstream?
See
2.
A fat, pretentious loser. Has what looks to be man-boobs popping out of the top of a girdle.
Looks 20 years older than actual age.
Probably hasn't seen his dick without a mirror and a microscope since age fourteen.
Secret desire to be double-stuffed anally by Gandalf and Bill Gates while the theme of the X-Files plays over and over.
His pasty white bald head instantly starts to drip with sweat when either the Matrix or Cheetos are mentioned.
Probably wore wrap-around sunglasses in the 80's.
Smells of cabbage soaked in Dr. Pepper and Zima.
(when asked why something horrible has been said or done)
Because fuck Ellars, that's why.
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3.
A fat guy looking like a teddy bear who doubles as a garbage disposil. Found cuddly but not attractive, found in bed on a computer or watching TV. Floats when he swims.
(Someone) Dude you float like an turkey sing like a, like a marshmallow.
(Ellars) FACE MAN FACE!
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