What is Engineer?
1.
A
"You know that you're an engineer if you can prove it mathematically"
2.
Suppose you meet a girl in a park. She's riding a bike. Taking off all her clothes she screams 'Take whatever you want'
If you take the bike, you're an engineer.
Yea, the clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway
3.
"To the engineer, all matter in the universe can be placed into one of two categories: (1) things that need to be fixed, and (2) things that will need to be fixed after you've had a few minutes to play with them. Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. Normal people don't understand this concept; they believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet." - Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle
The engineer was the cause of the system meltdown
4.
A talented individual responsible for the design and creation of all man-made objects in the known universe, as opposed to a scientist who attempts to make new discoveries about the universe. Engineers do not do much in the way of manual labour; those tasks are allocated to skilled tradesmen. Engineers are involved in the design of everything from oil tankers to staple removers.
For example, a scientist in a lab may discover a new metal with certain properties. An engineer would then take this material, incorporate it into a design, where a welder would then implement it into the machine/device.
Society depends on engineers with their lives just as much as they depend on medical professionals. It is the responsibilty of an engineer to make sure a bridge will stay up, a car will drive straight, and that planes will remain airborne.
Engineering is broken down into many streams. Mechanical engineers would be involved with things in motion, such as a car, or jackhammer. A civil engineer would design bridges and buildings, and other static structures. There are many more streams, which I will not list here.
Often, people without any engineering credentials will append the word "engineer" to their job title. This is because there is a sense of importance attached to the word. Practising engineering without proper certification can get a person sued by a lot of people very quickly.
Engineering is also a term used to describe an action that is similar in nature to engineering, albeit in a non-professional manner. An example of this would be a "social engineer," which is a person that would do something like use a friend's computer to
I wonder which engineer developed the night vision for Paris Hilton's video.
Aerospace engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
Boy: The sanitary engineer came to my place early this week.
Girl: Yah, those garbage truck drivers are so unpredictable!
5.
Someone who relates to the universe in a mathematical but socially inept way.
Optimist: "The glass is half full."
Pessimist: "The glass is half empty."
Engineer: "The glass is twice the size it needs to be."
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6.
1) More useful to society than an insurance salesman.
2) More useful to the arms industry than a big bucket of grenades.
3) More likely to use statistics than 345% of the population.
4) Enjoys overcomplicating things.
The aerospace engineer is the guy in the plane who is whimpering quietly and looking worried.
7.
A person who studies hard to be able to drink more than anyone else while in school, then makes more money than the same people in the workforce
man why does an engineer make so much money for learning to drink a case in a night
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