Environmentalist

What is Environmentalist?


1.

An intelligent human being who believes that human interests are not always in the best interests of human beings themselves (in the long run, of course) or other species. Although there are some impressionable airheaded environmentalists, the majority are scientifically informed and dedicated to their cause. Many things that environmentalists have worked for have also benefitted mankind, such as restrictions on pollution, which can cause deformities at birth.

There are two kinds of environmentalists- shallow environmentalists, who believe that nature should be preserved because of its beauty or value to mankind, and deep environmentalists, who think that nature has value in itself,

Gandhi was an environmentalist as well as peace-activist.

See tree-hugger, green

2.

A person who lives in a nice timber and stone house filled with wooden furniture, who advocates a total ban on cutting trees and mining. This person is inevitably a city-dweller, but acts as if he knows what is best for people in rural environments, especially those dependent on timber cutting or mining. This makes an environmentalist as popular as a turd in the punch bowl in rural places. An environmentalist uses liberaljudges sitting in courts of law, rather than the legislative process, to shove his plans down everyone else's throat.

Recently, some environmentalists have recognized that they do not appeal to rank and file citizens of the USA. This is good news.

Compare an environmentalist with a conservationist, a person who wants to protect natural resources without trampling on everyone else's property rights. Typical conservationists are hunters, fishermen, campers, and hikers.

Environmentalists recommend turning grizzly bears loose in populated areas of Colorado. They do not advocate turning grizzly bears loose in populated areas of Massachusetts. "Not in MY back yard, they say."

3.

Someone who would rather NOT have everyone on earth get cancer from UV rays, boil to death from global warming, or die from toxic gas left by nukes. This is hard for them to do because people don't seem to care about them.

We showed those environmentalists! Forget the environment! Let it die! Who needs-*Boils to death*

See Party Pooper

4.

a paranoid individual who thinks everything causes cancer.

would you like to sign a petition to ban dihydrogen monoxide?! it's a commonly used substance!!!

that's water you dumbass environmentalist.

See stupid, retarded, crazy, paranoid, wtf

5.

Someone who says we should stop watching so much TVand get out into the wilds, and talks of wind farms as the next big thing in Green, Earth-friendly energy generation, until those techie eggheads actually build wind farms, at which point the environmentalist starts talking about how all those whirling blades pose a threat to bird life and interfere with the energies in a little old lady's television. They used to do everyone a favour trying to save whalesand reminding the public of the evils of pollutionand tropical deforestation. Now they prefer to chow down on maize that has been so mutated it needs human farmers to help it reproduce, and milk from cows with huge swaying udders who wouldn't last a tap on the savannahs of Africa, often themselves dressed in wool stolen from similarly unnatural sheep, while getting everyone riled up about the alleged satanic evil of genetic engineering. Gimme the old days when Greenpeace were risking their lives before the harpoons of Russian and Japanese whalers, rather than risking the sanity of Western civilisation.

Let's do the environmentalist two-step, honey.

See green, eco-warrior, ego-warrior, fundamentalist, luddite

6.

Tree hugger who opposes the advancement of civilization, industry and business.

Environmentalists have prevented this country from producing oil in quantity to meet our needs. Thank an environmentalist for the price you pay at the pump for gasoline.

See nature lover, radical, tree hugger, anti-capitalist, guilt

7.

1.) An emotionally and socially dysfunctional person, driven by irrational desire(s) to put the entirety of humanity and the technology and innovation that brought society to the current peak of development out of comission for the sake of being "green".

Much like a schizophrenic, environmentalists defend their beliefs by citing paranoid ideation and theory with no basis in reality.

Environmentalists have banded together, using theatrics, literature, and pop culture to manipulate, guilt, and decieve the unsuspecting into setting aside perfectly good lifestyles, products, and manufacturing processes for inefficient, overly costly, and counterproductive ways in the name of being "green".

It should be noted that the use of "me too" advertising, elitism, and pop culture depiction of green as "hip" and "cool" has met with varying success toward those with limited mental fortitude, although igniting a backlash amongst the more intellecturally capable.

2.) A social status seeker (see: conformist) with little technical grasp of the underlying concepts, attempting to jump on the green bandwagon in a misguided attempt to become "hip" or "cool".

Jane was an environmentalist; she drove a Toyota Prius plastered with liberal bumper stickers and looked down her nose at everybody else who didn't.

So blinded by her self righteous status seeking crusade was she, that as Jane looked down her nose at the beat up 80's CRX passing by, she failed to realize that not only did it return 10 more MPG on two decade old technology, but was paid for and already returning savings to its owner. It also did none of the environmental damage that Janes Prius did, having already been manufactured some 20 years ago.

See environmentalist, green, greenie, greenpeace


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