What is Erie?
1.
The mistake by the lake. The snow capital of the world. Where schools never cancel classes and no one is surprised if the temp changes from 100 degrees to negative 20 in 4 hours. The adults are all either really sheltered or mega whacked out. Kids start drinking, smoking, and f*cking in elementary school. And you can find a bag of pot easier than you can spot a car. You might live in the city but have 3 farms in a mile radius. Nick Scott is a known hated monopolist. If you go to college, you are probably either a science or communications major. If you once went to college, chances are you did drugs or drank every day, all day, for years, and still do. The millcreek mall and the dollar theater were the coolest places to hang growing up, and the penninsula was so awesome with its nasty shit infested water. If you ever want to see the most messed up city in all the world, come here.
Erie, PA received 10 feet of snow today and nothing closed down except the plowing companies.
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2.
The Booze Capital of the USA. I swear, turn in any direction and spit and you will hit a tavern or beer distributor. There is always a Roman Catholic Church across the street for a bar and a convenience store.
The city council is know for blowing tax money on stupid-ass ideas, like the Bayfront Convention Center or the Maritime Museum. Also known for a lot of snow in the winter.
I feel like getting piss drunk on 25 cent drafts ... hey, let's go to Erie, Pennsylvania!
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3.
A place that is ruled by old, catholic, trade union, democrats. A city that is so backward that it uses it's government to tax people almost to death and invest in risky get rich quick schemes. People in the city can't go to a doctor, but the police and fire unions don't pay anything for their healthcare. Old Democrats set it up as an empire, it also may be the largest city of draining welfare people in Pennsylvania other than Philadelphia. It is a black hole of common sense.
Jon: look at the new Erie convention center, doesn't it look cool.
James: Yeah! it sure does and it had better because my kids' kid's are gonna be paying for it.
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4.
The hardest city in PA. Forget all the problems we have and forget what these other fools say. People here need to appreciate what's here. People from all over come here and over a million visitors come to Presque Isle anually. We are the best city between Cleveland and NYC. Forget them Allentown fools!
I represent Erie, Pa for life
5.
A highly underappreciated city in NorthWestern Pennsylvania. Everyone claims to hate it but in reality it is a model micropolis with 4 beautiful seasons, a thriving consumer and tourist market, good schools, 3 highly revered Universities, a beautiful and significantly cleaner lake and bay, Presque Isle State park and a very bipartison and fair local government. Everyone hates Nick Scott here but hes the man.
This morning I sailed across Lake Erie and had lunch, but when I got home there was 8 feet of snow so I went to peek n peek and skied all day.
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6.
A delosate city with no jobs unless you own a bar or beer distributer. "Erieites" are people who have serious mental problems. Why would someone live in a place that is fridged 10 months out of the year, with nothing to do. The main profession in the strange place is being a professional alchohlic, which you are awarded a higher ranking in "erie" society. People that choose to stay and live in Erie are complete losers with no self-esteem.
Jane "Mom we should go back to Erie and visit family in friends we haven't been there in a decade"!
Mom "No Jane that's a horrible idea. We may develop psychosis and have flashbacks of when we used to live there."
Jane You are right mom is the reason I have been in rehab 10 times is because....
Mom Yes Jane, because you grew up in Erie.
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7.
One of the worst cities to live in. Waldeemeer's motto is, "Not the same little park anymore." That is a complete lie. Our beaches are dirty and contaminated, there is a McDonalds around every corner, we have no good places to shop except Hot Topic, Pac Sun, and Grasshopper. This city is a true frozen hell on Earth, seeing as how half of our weather is a winter wonderland. Our public schools are full of decent teenagers, but our private schools are full of racist, sexist, unaccepting, intolerant, narrow minded, republican bastards who will outcast you if you do not conform to their style and we happen to be four years behind in fashion and style. As previously stated, we are a frozen hell on Earth.
Private School Kids: "Go die little whore."
Welcome to Erie, frozen hell on fucking Earth. Did you know our mall is in the shape of a gun?
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