What is Espn?
1.
Eastern Sports and Propaganda Network
Everytime I turn on ESPN they are talking about the Yankees or Patriots or Red Sox or some other gay east coast team, as if the west coast does not exist.
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2.
A 24 hour a day, 7 day a week fellatio fest for Boston, New York, and Barry Bonds.
Somebody just hit 8 home runs in one World Series game, but first, the latest on Barry Bonds' hangnail, plus the Red Sox and the Yankees tee times here on ESPN!
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3.
Entertainment (and) Sports Programming Network
Like MTV and MTV2, there is ESPN and there is ESPN2.
4.
A Sports network where any random idiot can make it as an "expert analysist" for a sport.
Person1: Lol at Merrill Hodge calling Vince Young a bust.
Person2: What did you expect, he works for freakin espn!!!
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5.
What Used To Be "Entertainment Sports Programming Network", Now Primarily A Daytime Soap Featuring A Grammy-Nominated Cast Of Rich Athelets
-----------------ESPN------------------
featuring...
Tiger Woods.........as Tony The Whiner
Barry Bonds.........as Cheating Charlie
Alex Rodriguez......as Crying Companion
T.O.................as Mr. Selfabsorbed
LeBron James........as 4 Guys Living Together
Brett Favre.........as Marsha
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6.
Eastern Sports and Patriots Network.
They are alway jockin the patriots and everything in the east in fact i think they have 24/7 live coverage on tom Bradys house like anyone cares.
Man that ESPN sure does jock the patriots and tom brady pretty hard.
Whats tom brady doin these days? i dont know check the Patriots Network(ESPN) it has 24/7 live coverage of his life.
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7.
Epstein and Steinbrenner's Personal Network
Formally know as Entertainment and Sports Programming Network, they offically changed their names to Epstein and Steinbrenner's Personal Network when they decided to focus on two MLB teams, the Red Sox and Yankees. Their main headlines usually include:
*Manny being Manny
*Manny Ramirez being Manny Ramirez
*MANNY TRADED TO THE LA DODGERS
*David Ortiz hits Homerun Number (insert #)
*David Ortiz eats burger number (insert #)
*A-Rod and Madonna???
*A-Rod and Jeter breaks up with Madonna rumors.
*Joba Chamberlain as a possible Cy Young Candidate (No Joke, actually real)
With the occasional headlines of:
Evan Longoria
Tiger Woods
Brett Farve
Evan Longoria
The New York Mets
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
LA Dodgers (only because Manny is there)
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
Brett Farve
MLB News
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* MLB eyeing instant replay as early as late August
* Oblique puts Lowell on DL | Red Sox top Rangers
* After fouling ball off foot, Jeter sits | Yanks lose
* Cubs sweep Braves by combined score of 18-2
* Crawford opts for hand surgery | TB-OAK Live
* A's third baseman Chavez has shoulder surgery
* Quentin sits out, but balanced ChiSox top Royals
* Sheffield says he's not expecting trade | Tigers fall
* Rumor Central: Rays making push for Aurilia? Insider
Four Yankees/Red Sox headlines in the top 5 from ESPN website 8/13/08
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