Fairfield University

What is Fairfield University?

1.

Jesuit university in Fairfield, CT, established in 1942. Requirements for admission: mediocre SAT scores, upper-middle class to upperclass SES, possession of at least one Northface jacket, and an alcohol addiction. Boys: must own a baby pink Polo shirt and be openly metrosexual. Girls: must have an orange fake tan and a nose permanently positioned toward the sky. Neither boys nor girls may fear wild turkeys or indigestion.

Hi, I go to Fairfield University, so charge it to daddy's credit card!

I'm allowed to pop my collar because I'm a Fairfield kid!
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