What is False Celery?
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A position in the Palma Sutra, the ancient discourse on self-pleasure, the False Celery is when a man digs a hole in the ground, covers himself with dirt and paints his column green during the harvest time.
As it is written by the ancients, "the False Celery shall align with a chill wind as surely as Polaris guides the wayward traveller north."
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The cut-price, bargain basement Jordan.
Since we can't afford to pay Jordan to wear very little in our magazine, we might as well ..
