What is Fartmite?
1.
a fartmite is a very rare speicies of mites. they appear when the fart season is near and crawl around the anus area of mammals. when aggrovated they let out a gas only describe as vulgar. this warns its predator, the buttdwelling ant. the only way to rid your buttocks of these defensive and intelligent creatures is to massage your rectum with marmite or other savoury spreads.
"Oh my god ive got so many fartmites its ridiculous"
"dont worry ive got some peanut butter"
"thank you very much but ive rather have some jam."
See
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