What is Fat Cousin?
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Usually an overweight female relative or friend you can call on to beat up another female for you, since being a dude, you can't do it yourself without looking like a total turd, no matter how much that she deserve it.
That bitch of an ex girlfriend trashed my Vette. I think I will give my fat cousin a call.
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A simpkin is also when a guy tries to pull a girl with a 70s rollerdance and fails miserbaly
George tried a Simpkin, but got him nowher..