What is Fib?
1.
Fucking Illinois Bastards – just pronounced as fib by Wisconsinites referring to people from Illinois, how they drive and act. They drive really fast at home but slower than an old lady with a walker when they’re vacationing in Wisconsin and don’t know were they’re going.
I got cut off by some FIB while I was driving on the I.
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2.
Fucking Illinois Bastards or occasionally, Fucking Illinois Bitches. Shortened to the acronym "FIB."
It is an unkind term used by Wisconsinites to refer to the residents of Illinois. Common times to use this are:
1. In reference to how Illinoians Drive - very fast and offensive.
2. Their vacationing choices - Wisconsin Dells and Lake Geneva.
3. Bears Fans
1. That FIB fucking cut me off on 894!
2. FIBs are taking over the whole state in the summer!
3. When was the last time those FIBS won, 1985?
3.
Fucking Illinois Bastard
1. One who drives in the fast lane, and chooses to do the speed limit
2. Someone who cuts through 2 lanes of traffic without signalling to exit Interstate
3. Chooses to vacation in Wisconsin, where there actually are hills, and a good football team
1. Hmmm, people keep passing me, I better put a stop to that and congest this whole damn stretch of pavement
2. My exit is coming up, I had better get over...hmmm, he forgot 4 fingers when he waved at me, oh well...Well I'll be, this wasn't even my exit, dirp
3. Lets head north to Wisconsin, they have hills, and small cities, that are way more laid back than us here in Chicago...I also heard they know how to play football, and make this thing called the playoffs
4.
Fuckin' Illinois Bastard.
Used by people in Wisconsin to refer to people from Illinois who buy all of the lake properties in northern Wisconsin and who don't know how to drive while going there.
Wisconsinite 1: Look at all the FIBS here today...
Wisconsinite 2: Well, it's Memorial Day weekend, what else can you expect?
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5.
1. Fuckin' Illinois Bastard
2. Annoying individual from Metro Chicago who thinks they're the salt of the earth and everyone who lives in a city of less than 100,000 should bow down and thank them for their presence. These obnoxious folks can be identified by their nasal voices and huge-ass SUVs (usually towing a 100 ft long trailer full of snowmobiles to northern Wisconsin)
3. Dumb individual from Metro Chicago who would pay fortune for something that is actually worth a quarter of what they actually paid.
4. Jerk from Chicago who has the illusion that Northern Wisconsin would not exist without their tourist dollars.
5. Outdoorsman poser who thinks "roughing it" means sleeping in a $30,000 camper.
6. Clown from Metro Chicago who complains endlessly that "It's better in Chicago" after retiring to Northern Wisconsin.
I don't want to go to the bar tonight. It's Labor Day weekend and the bar will be full of obnoxious FIBs.
Shop Owner: Heh Heh! I could put a coat of glazing over a pile of dogshit and some FIB would probably pay $100 for it as long as I stamp Made In Cheeseland on it. Hey Fido!! Here's some bean burrito for ya! Good boy!! Eat up- there's more from where that came from!
HA HA - and they think we're stupid!!
FIB: How come there isn't a band playing tonight? In Chicaaaago there is something going on every night. What kind of hick town is this?
BAR OWNER: Well, (mockingly) Go back to Chicaaago or shut the fuck up before I shove this beer glass up your ass.
FIB: Let's go Muriel. These peeeeople are uncultured swines.
FIBETTE: Okay Taylor. I'm getting a little schaaared here. Is the SUV full of ghaaaaaaas?
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6.
Fill In Boyfriend. When a bf isn't good enough or cannot satisfy his woman in one way or another (bad listener, worse lover) and another man finds himself in the bizarre position of fulfilling all her non-sexual needs.
If only he knew everything that happened in between his girlfriend and her FIB, he would know how shitty of a bf he is.
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7.
noun: a way to refer to Illinoisans that would offend your grandma if you spelled it out for her. The grandma version of
little timmy: Holy shit, Grandma!! Look at all the God-damned FIBS on the highway today!!
Grandma: timmy!! Where'd you learn to talk like that? Never refer to them as FIBs; it's offensive. Call those bastards "flatlanders."
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