What is Five Second Rule?
1.
This is a very complex law of physics. It states that if food (goldfish, for example) is dropped on the floor, it can be "safely" eaten within five seconds. The five second rule is very fun to apply when in...say...architectural drawing class, usually when Mr. Johnson leaves the room.
When other people are attempting to throw goldfish in your mouth, but miss and hit you smack diddley doo in the face, the five second rule applies as soon as it makes solid contact with the floor.
2.
A superstitious belief that food can remain in contact with the ground (no matter what's on it...?) and still be edible.
*Eddie drops a rasberry onto dogcrap by accident while walking with Bill*
Eddie - *picks up rasberry and eats it*
Bill -
What the? Why did you eat that??? Naaasty...
Eddie - Five second rule.
3.
A simple rule stating that food dropped on the ground is still perfectly edible if it is picked up in five seconds. Ingeniously created by guys for the sole purpose of reducing wasted food and allowing a person that second chance they needed to enjoy their food.
Jason: I dropped my steak on the ground!
Chris: That sucks.
Jason: Nah, five second rule, I saved it.
Chris: Nice.
4.
h2oincfs' Corollary:
The food can remain on the floor for longer than five seconds, as long as you started reaching for it before the five seconds expired.
I had to change position after my first attempt to reach the Cheesy Poof that had fallen under my desk failed. However, I had begun the attempt before five seconds had passed, therefore the
five second rule was not broken.
5.
If you can't last more than five seconds in a girl's pussy, your penis gets chopped off.
Man, that nigga busted in 3 seconds. He didn't ass the five second rule It's choppin' time.
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