Five-dollar Footlong Edit Meaning

1.

An "offer" introduced in the preceding months by those fools at Subway, a US submarine sanswich franchise.To be quite honest, this is one of the most insipid names for a deal that any marketing department has ever created. I'm sorry, but what the fucking hell is this shit? A five-dollar footlong? Are you motherfucking kiding me? Any fifth-grader can realize that "five-dollar footlong" sounds like an offer to take a peckerfor five dollars. What the hell is this shit? A five-dollar footlong? Are you going to ask me if I want some mayonaiseon that shit? Old bitch-ass motherfuckers. This is just destined to create misunderstanding, as follows:

Anonymous Agent #1: Hey man, I'm hungry as a motherfucker. You wanna get something to eat?

Anonymous Agent #2: You could go to Subway and get a five-dollar footlong.

Anonymous Agent #1: What are you saying about me, son? You saying I like dick?

Anonymous Agent #2: (Confused) What? Nah, man, I'm just saying that Subway has a 12" sandwich for only $5.

Anonymous Agent #1: Fuck you, man. I don't take no shit. (pulls a nine)

Anonymous Agent #2: What the fuck, man?! Why you pullin' the gat?

Anonymous Agent #1: And this is for that "double-whopper" jive you were pulling of me last week, you punkbitch. (Shoots Anonymous Agent #2)

Anonymous Agent #2: (Crying) What the fuck, man? I was just trying to help, son...

Anonymous Agent #1: That's right, cry like the little bitch that you are...

Anonymous Agent #2: WHY SUBWAY?! WHY...?!

Conclusion: Subway ruins lives.

Thank you for your time.

See footlong, subway, eat, fresh

2.

Five-Dolar Footlongs are tasty and inexpensive sandwiches available only at Subway! And the jingle is often parodied.

Five-Dollar, Five-Dollar, Five-Dollar Footlongs, at Subway!

See a, b, c, d, e