Flat Ass

What is Flat Ass?


1.

Having no ass or junk in the trunk. Suffering from the vitamin deficiency Noassitol. See Glutius Flatosis.

Heather's flat as was the result of Glutious Flatosis.

2.

Of or pertaining to geniune truth. That which is true on the basest level.

I flat ass couldn't afford a doctor.

See really

3.

Blunt honesty, absolute truth bare of cushioning social niceties

Derives from the impossibility of reassuring a person with insufficiently pleasing buttocks

Q: Do these jeans make my butt look big?

A: Girl, no jeans in the WORLD gonna help THAT flat ass!

See plain, brutal, callipygian, bootylicious

4.

An ass that is flat,noncurvaceous. Common among Asians.

Look at that flat ass! There's no meat in there!

5.

An insult normally directed at a fat girl wearing tight clothes aiming to make the most of her assets. This girl normally possesses the required saggy jelly tits in an undersized bra, saddle bag thighs, extra wide hips and a balloon belly gut, however her back tends to run directly into her upper thighs without so much as a ripple. Giving the impression that her lower body is the wrong way round.

This insult should be used carefully if the intended target is within earshot and of African descent as you will probably become the victim of a violent assault. Directing this insult at a Caucasoid female is a lot less dangerous as it may be taken as a compliment.

Other noted recivers of this insult are:

i)Skinny girls. Ususally wearing very big or string type belts in the hope of creating a feminine figure

ii)White guys. Who reputedly all have a flat ass, even the fat ones.

iii)Black guys. Displaying the opposite of the Arsenio Hall afliction

The scene: A club dance floor.. a DJ spins Baby Got Back and the more ample figured ladies stampede to the dance floor. Two friends who narrowly missed being trampled take refuge in the corner and watch.

Friend 1 turns to his buddy and observes "look at that flat assed hoochie mamma trying to shake what she doesn't have"

See fat ass, hoochie, hoochie mamma, big bird

6.

A twenty-first century version of the secretarial spread, caused by passing long hours planted in front of a computer. Also related to phone ear.

"I have to get a better job. I've spent the entire day just sitting on my flat ass, staring at that stupid screen."

See secretarial spread

7.

An old school slur for white guy used most notably by Richard Pryor.

White guy: "Exscuse me, but do you know where I can find a liquor store and a KFC?"

Black dude: "Fuck you flat ass!"

See casper, white boy, ghost


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