What is Flippersandive?
1.
1. Slang for ugly liar.
2. Ideal name for a fat girl with mottled skin covered in freckles and sun damage. The type of girl with little chiclet teeth and big puffy bleeding gingivitis gums. A girl with limp, lifeless dead baby hair growing out of her hair that she pulls out obsessively because she's nuts. The type of girl with an absence of lips and a severe case of halitosis. A girl with a face like a mongoloid, like an overstuffed catcher's mitt. A girl who has the spelling skills of a retarded four year old and the intellect of an idiot savant. The type of girl who can spout off 3 or 4 facts about a random subject, but is incapable of going in depth about the topic. A girl who talks through her nose. A girl whose "boyfriend" is a 30-something year old man with balding red hair, old wrinkled smelly clothes from the Gap (because the Gap was cool when he was young...back in 1991), bowed legs, huge scars all over his beer belly and love handles, a big honking crooked nose, crusted up tartar on his mangled wolf teeth, a blonde unibrow, curly ears that stick straight out on either side of his massively oversized square-shaped head, and also a lack of lips (something in common...).
Yes, her man is a middle aged man with an obsession with underage teenagers, a man who lies about his age in a vain attempt to appease the parents of these poor girls (even more sad, given his fat body, man teets, and wed of crows feet whenever he smiled his lipless, jagged toothed grin...whatever made him think that fake ID would work, God only knows)...a man who has done nothing with his life...a man whose every word is a lie, whose every intent is only to deceive, a man with no interest except perpetual laziness and gain at the expense of others, a man who is a predator, a man who is several hundreds of dollars in debt and has no possessions of value...a man who wasted his youth and has nothing to show for it...a man who wasted his adulthood and is in denial that he's even an adult...a man who is middle-aged and will soon see the big 4-0 and has accomplished nothing except a slight amount of very superficial personal gain with no meaning and no lasting effect. A man who is and forever will be....alone. And so is she. And so they shall remain...
Adrienne is a flippersandive.
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