What is Football?
1.
When a girl is playing footsie with you, and her foot travels up to your crotch.
She was playing football with me all through dinner.
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2.
The greatest and most popular sport in history with more than 5 times the TV audience of the next most popular (cricket - every radio and TV in the sub-continent is permanently tuned to Pakistan/India cricket matches - that's a big audience).
Only Americans call it 'soccer' owing to their vast ignorance of what goes on outside their national boundaries and the misnomer which has them thinking than a corruption of rugby, with all the danger and most of the skill removed can also be called 'football'.
'The Beautiful Game' can be played anywhere, on almost any surface, by any number of players, for almost any length of time. And is. There is no country on earth that doesn't play. It has inspired more passion, more courage and more excitement than any other sport in history and dwarfs everything else.
Football is, without question, the defining sporting activity of the human race.
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3.
A variety of games that which Europeans and Americans tend to argue over pointlessly till the end of time as to which version is "right" never minding the fact that due to Cultural Mutation different words can mean different things in other places
Typically Americans profess love for the version that involves padding and an ovoid ball in which the point of the game is to move the ball ten yards down the field at a time through either rushing or passing before passing into the plain of the "End Zone" placed at either ends of a 100 Yard Field to score points
Europeans tend to extol the virtues of a much simpler sport that only requires a pair of goals placed at either end of a field and is played with a checkered Spherical Ball
American: Hey, lets go play Soccer!
European: HEY FUCK YOU! ITS CALLED FOOTBALL YOU IGNORANT YANK!
Rest of World: Oh for fuck's sake stop arguing and just play dammit!
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4.
A name given to two different sports in which America and the rest of the world use to waste their lives away constantly arguing over which is better. Honestly, I'm an American. And I love the game of American football. But notice how I haven't said that I hate football (aka soccer). In fact, I love that sport, too. I just totally suck at it. Haha. C'mon, be real ya'll. Both games are cool. Even rugby too. It's cool. I have no idea how to play it, but I enjoy trying. It's all preference. For all ya'll that say football is whack cause we wear padding, go ahead and say whatever the fuck you want to say. That padding protects us so we can stay a little safer to enjoy the game a little longer. I don't care if I don't use it, I've tackled mofos twice my size without any padding on. The point I'm trying to make; All three games are great. They all require stratedgy, strength, speed, and endurance. So just shut the fuck up, grab the ball that suits you, and play your damn game already. You got that? Kay, just helping out. I'm just a 15yr old from a small town. Yeah, yeah... What do I know? Honestly? I know it's fucking pointless for ya'll to fight over sports. So just save your shit for someone who's still too much of a punk to simply enjoy a game of American football, football, or rugby. Peace people! Damn. Haha.
(just writing to fill in this shit :P)
(damn, now i gotta write "football" too. there, ya happy you fuckers?)
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5.
Football - Only the best damn sport ever. Played with a round ball and feet. However, Americans tend to mistake it for American Football (which should truthfully be called tackleball for all that matters).
Football - The only game you'll ever need to know
"If you're not a MANC, You're a WANK!"
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6.
America: A sport that is obsessed over by almost everyone, even though the game is boring to watch due to constant pauses in the game. Is highly physical resulting in many health problems later in life. Is talked 99.9% of the time on Sports Center, even when it is the offseason.
The rest of the World: A sport that is obsessed over by almost everyone. Reffered to as "soccer" in America, is actually pretty exciting to watch, but can get frustrating as injuries are faked almost every 25 seconds
America: Person 1 "Hey did you see that segment on sportscenter about
football"
Person 2 "Which one?"
The rest of the World: Person 1 "OMG that was an amazing goal!.....OMG that
guy is being taking off on a stretcher, did you see what happened?"
Person 2 " He got bumped into"
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7.
Also Known As the BEAUTIFUL GAME. A real sport played with your FEET and an actual round BALL, hence the name FOOTBALL. This term should never be used to refer to our silly american game of putting on 30 pounds of armor and carrying a cone shaped piece of rubber while trying not to be touched by other guys. You'll note the lack of definitions calling this silly game football. And there is a reason for that. Some silly americans give us a bad name by not noticing what is going on in the rest of the world and don't realize that there was already a real sport called football when we made up our game, but everyone else in the world knows whats up.
P.S. Please, if you are American please stop saying the S word (s****r)and saying that our american game is better than real football. If you are not american just know that not all of us are confused faggots.
Football is the best and most popular sport in the world.
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