What is Footupass?
1.
A rare, yet contagious disease.
Small outbreaks are common among groups of people that tend to piss each other off.
For this to occur, the conditions must be just right; One individual must be angry and have access to a foot of some sort, and another individual is to be unaware.
When the footupass is committed, the angry person must kick his foot (as if to kick a ball) up into the rectal column of the unaware individual. This will spring a fight, and more footupass may occur.
Consequences may include bleeding, broken ankles, necks, pelvises.
The only known cure for this is a form of Native American tribal dance, but that secret died with the last pope.
Footupass is to be blamed for more deaths per year than for forklift-related accidents.(circa 1992)
*Surgeon General's Warning: According to the state of California, footupass may cause cancer in pregnant women and children under the age of two.
Johnny B. Goodwell, of Delaware, died last week of the first reported case of footupass in the North American Continent since the early 1900's. Scientists fear that this disease may have made the leap from South Africa to here. More coverage is to follow.
-Washington Post, January 23rd, 2008.
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