What is Francimite?
1.
An indestructible, irreversible unstable fusion element combining the raw powers of both francium and marmite. Created under the intense pressure of 18 atmospheres and in negative Kelvin temperatures; graduate scientists from New Zealand's Auckland Grammar School were able to fully polymerize these two rambunctious elements and ultimately create the pure insanity of Francimite (Fy on the periodic table). In its purest form the highly radioactive Francimite is able to spontaneously disperse through the most impenetrable walls, and once its through there is no stopping it, even the smallest amount of Francimite has the potential to become a catalyst for the destruction of major cities. Since Francimite is half alkali metal and half yeast spread, its lethal energy is unleashed if it comes in contact with water or toast, even on humid days, New Zealanders have been warned not to eventuate outside for fear of any Francimite in the atmosphere near them. However an immunity for Francimite has been created in the past few months in laboratories in Dunedin, New Zealand, and has been handed out to every New Zealander, quarantine facilities have also been erected in all the major airports, to immunise all tourists who travel to New Zealand. Even now, the full power of this Francimite is still yet to be discovered and there are many aspects of Francimite which still remain a mystery. God help us all.
Sirrrrrrrrrr, burn the Francimite.
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