What is Functionally-retarded?
1.
Adjective describing a person(s) who has just enough brain cells to survive; devoid of common sense and mental aptitude.
Dave is such a tool. I bet he can't even wipe his own ass. He's functionally-retarded.
People suck. Most of the general public is functionally-retarded.
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What to say to security when they hijack your car in search of drugs
Security* - "Get the F*CK out the car so we can search it you..