Fundie

What is Fundie?


1.

1) Abbreviation of "fundamentalist";

2) Often a sola scriptura non-denominational born-again Christian;

3) Self-proclaimed "Jesus Freak" who spouts half-understood scripture at the drop of a hat;

4) General term for any teenage/preteen "pop" Christian who shows an extraordinary lack of tolerance/understanding for other religions (including any other denomination of Christianity);

there is a hell and anyone who doesnt accept Jesus as there personal savor is going there!!!!11! i'll pray 4 u!!!1!!!

Fundie idjit.

2.

The fundamentalists, also known as fundies or by their Latin classification Homo Phobius, are a subspecies of humanity distinguished by their phobia (simultaneous fear and hatred) of most people who differ from them in any way, based on their extreme religious conviction.

The threat of eternal physical torture in the mythical flaming demon zoo known as "Hell" is the fundies' primary method of insulting others. They base this conviction on millenia-old books of badly-written tribal customs, myths and genealogy which have been mistranslated many times by other fundies. In the case of the Muslim fundie, these books are contained in the Koran, while the Christian fundie worships the Bible.

The brain of the "Christian" fundie, while generally underdeveloped and often host of outlandish delusions, has a large capacity for memorization of Bible verses (or in the case of the Islamic fundie, Koran verses), often in the Shakespearian English of the King James Version, as this is less easily understood, and thus more easily twisted into the basic fundie message, which is "hate thy neighbor." Fundies, however, occasionally use the euphemism "love thy neighbor" (a rare example of non-literal fundie language) to convey the same idea.

Fundie dogma, along with what has already been mentioned, includes the concepts that differences between individuals, differences often so insignificant as to be unnoticeable without spying, should be the basis for undying hatred of those who possess any of these horrible differences, and for their condemnation to eternal Hellfire. This philosophy is also known as bigotry or douchebaggery. This is based on their occasional cursory reading of the above-mentioned texts combined with their lack of ability to understand the concepts of metaphor, sarcasm or any type of humor whatsoever. Often the fundie will not in fact read the "holy" texts, but will simply memorize the passages which other fundies recite. This is a common behavior pattern of the fundie, since, along with being often illiterate, they are incapable of logical thought, and thus cannot develop any individual opinions on the meaning of these texts.

A short list of those who are often considered by the fundie to be inferior follows:

-atheists

-agnostics

-Muslims according to Christian fundies, and Christians according to Muslim fundies

-HOMOSEXUALS (this is generally the most important enemy of the fundie)

-people who have sex before marriage

-people who are not white

-members of any cult other than that of the fundie in question

-immigrants

-liberals (in the sense of "Democrats" as well as the sense of people who think independently, and/or support any less strict form of government than theocratic fascism, and/or in any way support the concepts of peace, love, or tolerance, as espoused by the Christian fundie's supposed idol, Jesus Christ.)

-people who read or mention parts of the scriptures which endorse liberal blasphemies such as tolerance

-every subculture except their own (e.g. punks, Goths, both of which are known in fundie dialect as "Satanists")

-users of any mind-altering drug except pharmaceuticals and caffeine (and depending on the particular cult, tobacco and alcohol are sometimes accepted)

-married couples who do not always have sex in the missionary position

Despite the similarity in names, fundies despise all forms of fun (such as sex, drug use, movies, dancing, and non-gospel music), considering them to be Satanic.

A short list of fundie cults follows:

-White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan

-Liberty University (despite the name, the members of this cult have a special hatred for liberty, since it is valued by liberals)

-Bob Jones University (for all practical purposes identical with Liberty University)

-Al Qaeda (Islamic)

-the Baptist church

-Pentecostalism (one of the main rituals of this cult involves feigning an epileptic fit while babbling incomprehensbily, which oddly is seen as a sign of holiness and purity)

Though their philosophy would in most places condemn them to be homeless pariahs, in the Southern United States many fundies have found work as preachers and other types of demagagogues (such as politicians). Though fundies for the most part lack any practical skills by fault of their underdeveloped and hate-flooded brains, the ability to convince people that other types of people are not human, but in fact demons sent by Satan, is a valued and respected skill in fundie culture. Abbreviated examples of this ability, often based on the misinterpretation of statistics, are below.

Fact:Black people are arrested, convicted and incarcerated at dramatically higher rates than white people in the U.S.

Standard interpretation: racism is systemic, and/or cops often make mass arrests in black ghettoes.

Fundie (or "psychotic") interpretation: The nigger is a violent and inferior lifeform! They will all burn in hell! We must bring back segregation to protect ourselves!

Fact: Fossil evidence suggests that species evolved over millions of years. As this is scientific evidence, many intellectuals (for example liberals) accept it as fact.

Fundie (or "schizophrenic") interpretation: The Bible does not mention evolution! Therefore the Devil planted the fossil record! The liberals believe the fossil record, therefore they are servants of Satan! The liberals are not people! They must be assimilated!

See insane, crazy, bigot, hate, religion

3.

A person, usually heavily right-winged christian, who tries to force his religion and ideas down other people's throats. Impossible to argue with, because they always use the bible as proof that they are right. Try to censor everything. When anyone tries to stop them, they claim they are being oppressed, and the "opressor" is a liberal activist who is against people of faith. Takes the bible waaaaay too literally. Laughs whenever they are beaten in a debate, stating cockily, "Well, I win 'cause you're going to hell."

If you are a fundie, you are probably not reading this website.

4.

A fundamentalist; a Christian whose ideas are completely in-line with church dogma. Fundies, for the most part, do not think for themselves, and are often frighteningly evangelical.

Synonymous with Jimmy.

This school is CRAWLING with fundies!

See The Grammar Nazi

5.

n. Short for fundamentalist. A person who generally holds to extremely Protestant-Christian, social/moral right-wing ideas. Often associated with the more evangelical denominations of Christianity.

They're all such fundies, it's hard to have an objective, open-minded discussion about any religious issue.

6.

1.) an absolute moron, a politically driven imbecile responsible for many embarassing practices of present and past in America including, but not limited to:

-omission, distortion and/or misrepresentation of evolution and other scientific theories and practices

-promotion of integrating religion and religious prejudice into the American government

-intolerance to many groups that conflict with or contradict their beliefs such as:

--atheists/agnostics/non-"born again" Christians

--homosexuals and others with non-heterosexual orientation

--scientists

--independent/progressive thinkers

-racial segregation

-racist lynch mobbing and other related crimes directed against specific races

-protection for those who commit such acts mentioned above (ie. by FILIBUSTERING anti-lynch laws all the way into the 1950s)

-promotion of Nazi-esque policies

-anyone who agrees with the lunatic on tencommandments

and so on.

2.) an embarassment to America.

If you're not a fundie born-again Christian, you're a failure as a human being.

--Jerry Falwell, a fundie himself

See hick, redneck, fundamentalist, bigot, racist, nazi, fascist, reactionary

7.

fundamentalist. Especially Christian and mainly "non-denominational" and "born again" -- that is, "taken Jesus into his/her heart as his/her 'personal savior'" (saved from?!??) -- Usually pejorative -- used as a negative (as entries at this site show). Often used to express frustration with people who are unwilling to actually debate, especially with regards to religion.

It looks like the fundies are back in the news; this time they're trying to bring prayer back in public schools.


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