What is Funk Shui?
1.
Funk Shui or The Way of Funk. A home design movement created by Crest Angel Del Cross,
The finer subtleties of Punk or Funk Shui design: All subordinates and members of both factions agree, on the firm belief that every object, on which one glances an artistic eye, must be freed from its former subservient role.
For instance a high school desk chair shot through with holes, using a police issued
Glock , is a valid Punk or Funk Shui Anarchisticartistic endeavor.(Please not in the city limits and make sure that the gun is wiped of all finger prints and returned to it's rightful licensed owner.) Both parties agree it must never support anotherderriere again. (No matter how sweet it is.)
What are the similarities and differences between Punk and Funk Shui Anarchists, in preparation for a festive event?
1. A sofa, torn asunder by an over zelalous Anarchist Punk or Funk Shui hacker with a buzz saw, must never be urinated upon and left to stand in the hot sun. (Punk and Funk Shui advocates do not adhere to the practice of urinating on any household object.)
This practice lies clearly in the domain of the far flung renegade sect, called Skunk Shui, rumored to have formerly belonged to a biker chapter of the Merced CA.
Hell's Angels division. They justify this abhorring savagery with the claim that the sofas make excellent wedding gifts.
2. Proper etiquette in Punk or Funk Shui Home Design: For example young Josh and his followers think that on acquiring old and discarded lavatory receptacles,(toilet bowels for the uninitiated) that it is perfectly fine to clean them out with simple dollar store detergents and then use them to present corn chips or cheese dip at your next event.
* On this matter the Funk Shui follower is viscerally disgusted, if only purely from a hygienic standpoint. However we believe that they do make excellent white wine or champagne chillers.
3. On the use of formerly subservient to the bourgeois, bathroom soap dishes. The follower of Punk Shui would use it as a soup bowl, where as, the less stringent, Funk Shui anarchist artist can only imagine its use as an ash tray or perhaps for hard wrapped candy but never for mere soap ever again. Funk Shui is all about home design anarchy, with proper hygiene!
An example of a food recipe for a Punk or Funk Shui festivity.
This bodes well for all members of either persuasion who are diametrically opposed to the use of refrigerators
The Eternal Pot of Stew
(For a large gathering)
1. 270onions
2. 170 carrots
3. 80 sticks of celery
4. 30 lbs of potato's
A whole lot of beef the more the merrier!
(leave out when serving Vegans or burn to a crisp and just tell them it's wood chip stew)
5.Fresh Parsley, basil and oregano (See Punk or Funk Shui for Anarchist dummy gardeners)
6.Salt and pepper to taste
Prepare and place in an extremely large crock-pot (or a lavatory receptacle if you must be sure that it is fully heat tempered ceramic or it may crack)
Bring to a slow simmer and replenish as needed forever and ever. This stew must never simmer below 160 degrees Fahrenheit.
(It cannot be over stressed that proper cleanliness in the kitchen is net to godliness.)
Warning: The FDA or any other health organizations for that matter, do not endorse this author's opinions on hygienic cleanliness. Vegans wishing to file a complaint can do so by sending it in a self addressed stamped envelope therefore it will remain in the utmost of confidentiality.
