What is Funnel Vision?
1.
A medical condition characterized by crossed eyes, nausea, uncontrollable growth of ass-hair, and in severe cases, projectile vomiting, uncontrolled diarrhea and a persistent vegetative state. It is caused by overexposure to the
It's rapid, virus-like spread through the Iraq Theater of Operations is causing entire units to be Combat Ineffective. These crippled units are being re-deployed from Iraq under the guise of the drawdown of US "Surge" forces.
The condition is preventable and can be cured with massive doses of good porn with actual hot chicks who know how to give a blowjob.
Private: "Sarge! Jones is shitting and puking all over himself in his bunk!!!!"
Sarge: "Shit!! Get me a DVD over here starring Tera Patrick and Sky Lopez NOW!"
Private: "Should I call the medics?"
Sarge: "No time. Jones' case of Funnel Vision is one of the worst I've seen. He was a damn good man. You and me are the only ones left, Private. We need to stop the spread of that video; The Worst Porno of All Time."
See
